The Steps Of Suicide

Chapter One

The razor slid across my skin. One by one the blood dripped from my wrist down to the ground. The only thing that would make me feel better was pain. KNOCK! "Cole! Are you in there! It's time for dinner!" My mother screamed. I quickly his the razor and bandaged up my arm. "Coming!" I screamed back. Blood was dripping from the bandage, leaking through, allowing hints of my pain and suffering. I walked out the door and into the kitchen. "Chinese again?" I asked. "Hey! Until you learn how to cook you don't get to speak" she told me. Me being my quite self just sat down and ate the food. My mother says no phones at the table, but it makes no difference to me. I know no one will text me its not like I have friends. "So are you excited for tommorow?!?" My mother asked. "You mean the first day of school, the BEST day of the entire year." I said sarcastically. "Yes" my mother replied. "Then no" I said. "You know you should be more optimistic of life" she said. "And you do know you should learn how to cook." I said back. We exchanged glances and continued to eat. I finished eating and went back to my room. I picked up my phone and allowed it to charge. It was apparently a big day tommorow. The first day of high school. I rested my head on my pilow and fell asleep.
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5:30 am. 5:30 in the fucking morning is when I have to get up in the morning for hell. I dread this day every day. Some days I wish I could go through with my plans and just get rid of my pain, but I can't. The physical pain in my hands and legs grows too strong and I give up. Some people would say to just hang myself, but the youvtry sneaking a ripe past your mother. Who checks your room every day I might add. So no not an option. As I'm dreaming of the usual. Going through my plans and seeing all the horrific assholes suffer for what they have done to me. Hey, but no one ever said being the only openley gay kid in school was going to be easy. As I'm sitting there my mother knocked and tells me to hurry or I will be late. I look over to my alarm clock and it is already 6:30. "Shit!" I yelled. "Hey! Watch your profanity!" My mother yells. I get dressed in my normal all black and no emotion shown on the outside of my body. I skip breakfast like usual and walk to school. I get there and go to my spot. This spot is where all the stoners go to get high and drunk before school. So that basically sums up my morning.