Chris's past.

Rest In Peace

    I have lost everyone close to me since I can remember, and I'm afraid I will lose someone close again. When I was young, it seemed my world had ended. My fondest memory is when my sister' and I were playing in the park, the day before we found out I had cancer.
    When my parents found out, it was like I was the only thing that ever mattered. I was told that I had something called Pancreatic Cancer, and I would be unable to produce something called insulin after being treated. The doctor told me this, and looked me in the eyes and with a serious tone. He told me that there was only a 5% success rate for this cancer. If I had to describe it, I would tell you that I felt nothing but despair, I had no hope whatsoever.
    The next two years of my life I spent everyday waiting in the hospital till I was cured. When I was beginning my treatment, it helped, but now I have lost too much muscle to move on my own. My pancreas had been removed a long time ago. It made me unable to produce insulin. I've been forced to eat even when I just wanted to give up and starve myself to death. The only reason why I kept on living throughout my voided life was because three times a week my sisters would visit me. They did everything in their power to keep me alive. I was dead on the inside. I just wanted to be strong.
    One day, I had awoken to my younger sister Bianca, smiling at me happier than ever. It didn't take long till I heard the news-the cancer had left me, it was gone. My two year long battle was over and now all I had to do was to get in shape. It took me a while to be able to walk again, but it didn't take too long before I was healthy again. I am unable to be completely healthy, I can't produce insulin so I have to inject myself with insulin twice a day.
    After recovering my strength, the devil brought us news for my older sister this time, it turns out that she had gotten cancer a while ago. The doctors then told us that she was in stage 4, and her cancer was terminal. It was explained to me that she would last for at the most a few months, but she gave up sooner than expected. She passed away in a matter of weeks. I had spent the next year or two just suffering in silence, then I met Linda. Linda was pretty, independent, helpful, kind, and much more than I deserved. We had started dating at the beginning of the school year, most people thought we were too young for dating but I didn't care. She was ideally perfect, and she deserved the most out us all. I remember going to the park together late at night and watching the bright green and turquoise lights dance across the sky while holding each others hand.

    "I wish I could bring you to touch those lights," I told her in awe of the dancing lights.

    "I don't need to touch them doofus," she replied to me. I can recall her warm smile, giving me proof that she is truly happy.

    I walked her home that night, and waved her bye. That was the day I realized that she made me happy. I loved being with her and I stopped thinking the world was completely unfair. For the first time in my life, there was something positive, no,  someone positive.
    The next day when I talked to her, she would cry, and try her best to avoid me. I had no doubt in my mind that I screwed up everything. But later in the day, I had that feeling of helplessness and despair again. She told me that for a while she has had a disease. She forgot what it was called, but she only had a matter of weeks left till she goes into a coma that will result in her expiration.
    I knew that I did not want to let her die sad. I wanted to make her as happy as she could possibly be. Stupid, that is one word how to describe how I was. I had asked her parents in private over and over again for her hand in marriage once I found out that she was to die so soon. She had always talked about that she wanted to be married, and at the time I wanted to do nothing more than just make her happy. I managed to explain to her parents that I wanted to make her happy.
    A month had passed. It was Christmas eve, the day of my wedding. It was very small, and I had proposed to her the day before. She wore a very beautiful dress and I got my dad's suit. We were getting married in her parents' garage, and I can vaguely remember her crying tears of joy. That day I married her, and the next day her parents told me her doctor said that Linda had a chance of surviving this illness, that there was hope that she will make it now. All due to her positive attitude. It took a day, then Linda told me that she was going to "leave" happy, and it made me cry. The next day she went into her coma. When she had gone into her coma, she was happy. I made her happy, but why did it make me feel so, empty...

End