Inspired

Fifteen

I wanted something so badly. I kept praying for it, pouring my heart into begging God to give it to me. But every time I did, I would say to myself, "God probably wants to test me. He knows how much I want this, so He probably will give me the opposite of it just because I want it so badly."

And then one day I realized: God says, "I am as My servant thinks I am." Why would He give me what I want when all I'm thinking is about how much He wouldn't? If I don't even believe He'll give it to me, if while I'm praying for it I'm thinking He will withhold it- then why would I be blessed with it?

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us that we should pray for something while we are certain that God will answer us. It might not come in the same way we want it- maybe it will! Maybe it'll be better, or maybe we'll get it in the Hereafter or perhaps something evil will be prevented and averted from us because of our prayer.

But in all those scenarios there is one common factor: God will answer. And His answer will be always be good.

I went back to begging God to grant it to me, but this time, I was fervently certain that He would. As the months went by, as one year merged into the next, every time a doubt would enter my heart, I cast it away, I screamed at it and I would say: He HAS to answer. He WILL answer. This is Al Mujeeb! The One Who responds! Al Kareem- The Generous! Al Wadud- The Loving!

And you know what? He did. And in a way of and a timing which was beyond my wildest hopes and dreams.

"When God inspires your tongue to ask, know that He wants to give." - Ibn AtaAllah

-Maryam Amir