Kind Hate

Rowan's POV

It's been a couple weeks since I've spoken to Dawson or Nathan. I've been avoiding Dawson's messages and calls. I can honestly say I miss both of them. I want to see Nathan so bad. Every day I just want to drive over to his house and pick his brain. I want to lay down on the couch and watch a movie together like we did the day we met. I want to wake up in his clothes in his bed. I just want to see him. I've been keeping busy at my new caretaking job. It's only a couple days a week but it's work.

Bzzz. Bzzz. My phone keeps ringing and I finally answer it. It's Dawson. "Hey what's up." I try to act like I haven't been waiting weeks for him to call me but my high pitched voice says otherwise. I feel regret for ignoring him lately. It's not like he's the one that treated me like shit.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out to lunch today. We haven't talked in a while and I miss my best friend." He words fill me with relief. I'm glad he wants to meet up and it's nice to know he missed me.

I smile and answer him. "Of course, yeah. The usual place to say..." I check my watch. "1:30ish?"

He agrees and we say our goodbyes. I set my phone down and climb in the shower. After about 30 minutes, I'm out and dressed. Wearing my usual pair of light wash jeans and a tee, not even bothering to put on makeup, I grab the keys and I'm out the door.

I pull up to the restaurant parking my car, I can see Dawson through the window. He already got a table for us. I enter the restaurant and make my way towards Dawson. He's smiling but there's something on his face. It's a dark purple ring. What is that? Wait, is that a black eye?! Where the hell did he get that from?

Dawson reaches for a hug but I reject still staring at his eye. "Dawson what the hell? Who did this?" Why am I even asking? I already know who did it. I was obviously Nathan. God he can be such an ass. "Dawson what happened.." I ask in a soft, compelling voice. I feel bad for him. Maybe this is my fault. Maybe if I would have stayed in contact with them these past couple weeks this could have been avoided. But need I not forget, Nathan still hates me.

"Rowan, it's nothing. He just was in one of his moods, I said the wrong thing and got punched for it." He plays with his fingers as he talks. I can tell this definitely is not the first time something like this has happened. I grab his hand and hold it in mine. Maybe I should start coming back around. I mean, I really want to see Nathan, there's no denying that. I want Dawson to be safe, and maybe I can help with that. No harm in trying again.

"Hey, how about I give Nathan another go. After we eat, I'll go back to the house with you. It will give you time to stop worrying. Tomorrow's Monday and I know you have papers to grade. It's gonna be okay." A hint of hope flashes in his eyes. In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him like this. He's always been so tough and confident. He always knows what to say and do, but now, he just seems so scared all the time and uncertain.

He weakly shakes his head and looks down at his menu. I try to ignore the pain in his eyes but it's just so hard. I push past it and look for something to eat. Honestly, I'm starving, I barely ate anything yesterday and I woke up too late for breakfast. I think I'm gonna get the triple stack burger and a large fry.. and some ice cream. Dawson and I order and eat. After fighting over who pays, I eventually win. I leave a small tip and head back to his house.

I grab my purse out of the car, and walk towards the house. Dawson's car is already in the driveway so I guess he made it before I did. I don't even bother knocking, I just walk in. Dawson's sitting at the kitchen table turning on his laptop I think. I'm sure Nathan's around here somewhere. "Do you know where he is?" Already knowing who I'm referring to, Dawson shrugs his shoulders and continues to type. Maybe he's in his room.

What do I say though when I see him. Like 'I know I said we'd never meet again, and I know you hate my guts but I'm back so what's up' . He probably won't talk to me. He'll probably do his stupid I'm a douche face and walk away, or say some shitty thing to me and pretend not to care. Honestly, I want him to like me. I've always had a thing that when people don't like me it just really bothers me. Like how can you not like me if you don't even know me. I want Nathan to get to know me. I want to get to know him. I try to lower my hopes knowing that's not going to happen.

I reach his bedroom door. My grip tightens around the door knob and I take a deep breath before walking in. Maybe I should knock... No, whatever. Just do it. I shut my eyes tight and shove the door open. I open them to reveal a hot sweaty Nathan, well naked Nathan I might add, laying over a short blonde woman. Did I just walk in on him having sex? Oops, I guess.

I try to turn around and run as fast as I can but my feet won't let me move. There's an unexplainable pain in my chest. Why is this happening? His sweaty long hair drapes over half his face and he finally looks up at me. His eyes meet mine and I feel my breath hitch. What should I do? Do I say something? His eyes narrow on me and he just looks mad. I mean I'd be mad too if someone walked in on me. He looks back down at the girl then back up at me. Not gonna lie she kind of looks like he picked her up off a street corner. I mean light blue eyeshadow, false lashes, and bright red lipstick. Does that not just scream hooker? For some reason I can't look away from his eyes. It's as if the anger in his eyes melts away and now he looks.. He looks.. Hurt?