Chapter 1:
I was about 12 years old thought I knew everything. Bored in my house couldn't go anywhere, didn't have to have permission to go anywhere. Mom was very strick, had to beg to even go out to my cousin house.
Sick watching tv all day long, I was such a losser, I was so tired of my life. Even tried succied one or couple of times. Then my mom got a latop. All my frienss had a "Myspace" so I joined. I thought it was so cool, I felt happy. Then time passes I'm 13 now my boyfriend Owen broke up with me over a message from Myspace after being together the whole summer,cause I never got to see Owen. *Looking back it was a summer fling.* I was so angry, sad, didn't know what to do. What could I do? Nothing.... Yes I did do something lie to him. I told Owen I cheated on him when I really didn't. So he feel hurt as much as I was, *looking back that was really stupid*. I started apologies, I even when add some Owen friends.. *That was one of the biggest I ever did*.
Chapter 2:
That's when I started talking to John asking to please talk to Owen to tell him I'm sorry. *I remember John he use be so nice back then*. Owen never forgave me for that but he still was my friend, not very close. *But the story isn't about Owen its about John* after a while me and John became such good friends. We gave his number and instead of texting we use call each other everyday. If I didn't answer he would leave a voicemail, I would do the same, those where one the funniest voicemails. I saved them would listen to them when I missed him or when I felt low. But he didn't know that. He was my crush, I really liked him A LOT but I don't know how to tell him. John didn't go my school he lived 45 mins away from me. I knew the relationship was going to last cause i wouldnt get to see him, just like Owen plus I never even meet John in person. So i decied to wait till i was a little older so my mom can let me out *I miss the old John* Honestly if you would seen John was damn any girl would fall in love.
But like they say All The Good Things Come To End.
Chapter 3:
After a while like all middle schoolers they have drama in their school so I was too busy to notice me and John didn't even talk like we use too. The calls from every day beggan to calls from every one a week to not all. I still liked John so when he got a girlfriend broked my heart. After a while I started thinking he probably didn't feel the same way I did. So I let go, I went my own way and he went his. I thought him once in a while, I would write a message to him but never sent it. I felt like I would be bothering him. Every time he was online I would hope he would unlist know I'm there anytime he needs.. I would hope John wouldn't change his number ever. I would always wanted to talk to him 24/7 and tell him how I felt. I was never brave enough, to scared to regected.Then days, weeks, months then with a blink of an eye a year past by *That could been that end of that but then it happen.*
Chapter 4:
That year he messaged me, *Imagen how I felt when I saw his message* We started catching up, remember our old convention. Myspace wasn't cool any more, we added each other on Facebook.
I don't know something didn't feel the same anymore but I still hold on. Now I have a new boyfriend, Dane at the time. One day he wanteted to come see me but I never imagen he would but he did at night. I thought he would only come but his friend also came. I was taking a big risk bring them both, I had sneack them in. That night I'm ashamed of it /:.... His friend black mail to have sex him him or he'll wake up my parents *would get a huge trouble*. So I did. John didn't even say anything.. I cried the whole time. I told John, I never wanted to see him or his friend again! I never told told anyone about this not even Dane. John kept messaging me begging him to forgive him, it will never happen again. I ignored it for months but then he comes to my house out no where and he invites me to dinner.
I accepted but I knew if I told my mom I was going to dinner with John, she wouldn't let me go. So I told her that John was picking me up cause Dane couldn't come and get me *But if I knew what I would get my self into I woulda never went*
Chapter 5:
That so call date to dinner was just a lie. He took me where his uncles lived, we went into this empty room. The mood was all right and he told what I wanted to hear, we did it that night. Then out no where someone knocks at the doors room and John goes out stays for like 5 mins then comes back tells me to go in the closet and don't come out on till he comes back.
So I did. But after I heard John went out the door, I come out the closet and look out the window I see John fighting with this other guy. I was confussed, then I saw John coming back in the housw, so I go back in the closte like nothing happen. He comes and gwts me out the closet and tell me we going to take a walk. Then I really wanna ask him why were him the guy fight but I didn't. He began telling me how he join a gang, tells me about their rules and how they are. *I never asked why he join the gang because my some my uncles are in another gang.* Then he takes to a car, his uncle is there parked in by a store. His creepy uncle is trying to flirt with me. His uncle is old enough to be my dad I wanted to go home, they that me home. Now I have find good excuse to my mom why I'm late.
Chapter 6:
Yes I did feel bad cheating on my boyfriend Dane again. So I was determine to not do it again aslong as I have boyfriend.
John wanted to see me again. He came over and begged to be with me. I rejected him and told to leave my house at once. So we stop talking for almost a year. I found out he also had girlfriend when we had sex. I was so pissed, angry, then it was summer. I didn't have boyfriend no more we started talking as friends again, gave him on last chance. He took to the park with one his other friends and I brought one of mine. While his friend and my friend were getting to know each other we fucked on his car.* Hey I felt like a summer fling* later the night I remeber he lied to me abiut no having a girlfriend so when he drop me and my friend off, j told him to never talk to me again and delete my phone number. He beggan to beg and beg and beg I just couldn't resit to forgive him. We went to another date with my cousin, he took to us Burger King. and then takes me to his friends house. He wanted us to drink buy I didn't want to. My cousin did and so I told him I wanted to talk to him in private. So went out side to talk and it got cold so we went in his friend car to talk. I asked him why he changed so much he use to be like this at all. He never answered me just said "you look so beautiful when your mad" and stated kissing and we made love. Then we went back instead I saw it stared to get late. Keep telling him me and my cousin need to go home or will get in trouble. He wouldn't take us home so we left his friend s house we didnt know the place we was in and its dark. So we went back to his friend house Begged him to take us home. Finally he did, the good thing me and my cousin didn't get introuble that night. *That night changed my life forever*
Chapter 7:
My period never came that month, I was getting scared, So me and my friend went to get a pregnancy test, I never used one before so I did it wrong, then I went get one more and it came out positive. I couldn't belive it, so I took 4 more pregnancy test and all came out positive. Holy fuck I didn't know what to do, my friend stated to cry. I couldn't even cry, I couldn't believe. The very next day I called John told him I was pregnant with his baby, His the only one I slept with the whole summer. He was shocked, in denial so was I, so we planned to meet up at the mall to talk about it. We went to the mall he seem so excited :), he want to buy the baby toys and baby wasn't even born yet. Then I felt secured (: but then months passed I was 3 months pregnant and he seen more distant. I keep telling him to come to an appointment with me cause they going to hear the baby's heat beat.
He didn't go, then out of no where he started denying our baby :( thay broke my heart. He stop answering my text, and calls. Then I found out he got new girlfriend, he left me and our baby for a girl.I felt stupid all I did for him. Even thought aborting the baby but my mom convinced me to have him. Cause iys not the baby fault, My whole pregnancy I did out alone with out him. He only talk me once to tell me to stopr calling amd bother him. so i did. My guy friends at school all wanted to be the dad. Call my baby their. How can they want to be the dad, and not him :'(. The baby was born and his the love of my life ♡ 2days later John texted me saying to stop saying his the dad and thay he never loved me but I didny stand for it no more. I told him to never contact me and MY son cause his ONLY my son now. He lost him when he denied him. and I haven't talked him again. Later on one my friends saw him with a girl that was pregnant. Broke my heart.
But I'm making it with my son ♥ My son is the world to me.
