i killed myself in December last year
that christmas
there were no christmas trees
there was no happy christmas music playing
and there were no family dinners
my friends couldn't keep there heads up
they spent hours in their rooms
screaming at nothing
screaming that they'd do anything
for me to come back
and i was confused because i thought
and believed that people
would be happier without me
5 months after i died it was April
the flowers were blooming
the leaves were turning green once again
spring was starting
but i still hadn't seen my
friends or family smile
like they had when i
was around
i started to think
maybe people did love me
maybe i was the one that made
their lives worth living
maybe i was the only one
who tried to make that
boy in math class smile everyday
because i knew what it was like
to not be able to laugh
and now he has to reason to smile
maybe people did miss me
and maybe people really did care about me
too bad they didn't start showing it
until i was gone
