Is This Love? (On hold)

"Set Fire to the Rain"

As I walk around the grocery store silently pushing the cart, I start to ponder upon my relationship with Jackson.

I like him a lot. Real love is knowing someone's weaknesses and not taking advantage of them. It's knowing their flaws and accepting who they are.

Jackson has always accepted every part of me. He has seen me at my worst and was always there to help me get through it. I don't know what I would do without him, especially with my father. When I can't sleep at night, Jackson is always there to talk to. When my father hits me, Jackson is there to bandage my wounds. Our love is unconditional, and I couldn't ask for anything else.

While thinking, I quickly grab some green beans, potatoes, orange sauce, and boneless chicken for dinner. I contemplate whether or not I should get anything for dessert. Nah. They'll probably be too drunk to realize anything.

It's in circumstances like these where I ask myself what my mother would do. I never really knew her, but I enjoy imagining her as a beautiful, soft-spoken, and loving person. She probably  hated mean people and gave lectures to those who did something wrong. I see her telling me now not to disrespect my father regardless of everything he has done to me. I envision her telling me to always be kind.

Argh, screw it. Who am I? Cinderella?

I pay for the food and saunter out of the store. I load the stuff into the car and pull out of the parking lot. I want to quickly get home so that I can leave peacefully to Jackson's place. I play a random song as I drive and sing along.

"But I set fiirreeee... to the rain. Watch it fallllllllll as I... touch your face..."

I never really understood that song. Okay, I get that she is grieving because someone she loved deceived her in some way and lied to her, and while she is still acknowledging her immense love for him, she is also letting herself go. She is "setting fire" to the relationship she shared with him and realizing that she needs to push him away for good. It is lyrically genius as well, but is it physically possibly to set fire to rain? Rain is a form of precipitation that is primarily water, and water extinguishes fires. Although... it would be really cool to see rain on fire. Just imagine the clear liquid going up in flames... 

Despite all of the contradictory thoughts, I really do love this song. Anyone who knew me would know about, and be able to describe, the look of ecstasy that overtakes me whenever I hear Adele and her music. Yes, I am quirky like that. I love her music and any old slow song for that matter. As long at it had a beautiful and deep meaning to it, any song will move me to tears regardless of the positive or negative vibe. 

I continue to drive down the road with both of my hands on the steering wheel and the wind in my hair, music still blaring through the stereo system.  Soon, I near the entrance to my subdivision and turn onto the street. Hurriedly, I park in the driveway, grab the bags out of the trunk, and saunter into the house. 

Of course the freaking front door was open.

In my haste, I miss the plethora of expensive cars lining the street around my house. Didn't Father say he was having some colleagues over? The booming voices of drunk men answers my question.