The One That Was Once MINE

Prologue

'I can't' she repeated, her heart has been broken, shattered into pieces, her eyes swollen, her heart no longer beating. She buries her head deep into that pillow, I wish I didn't love him from the beginning. I wish I never met him. Her mind repeated, but her heart didn't believe so.

She remembered the way she smiled when she heard his earthy laugh, the feeling of pleasure that spread through her, feeling of being content and happy, for once in her life. The ways her heart jumps when he calls, the way his arms wrap perfectly around her body. 'I hate you.' His lips forming those words, the way he said it was all it took for her to break apart.

As they say, some people do mistakes that they will regret their whole lives.
And this was the one for her.
She wrapped her arms around her petite body and cried, after all, that's all what she can do, just cry for a deep loss, cry for someone she once owned, and now doesn't, because of her hoe self, she lost the closest person to her heart. 'I hate you.' Is the only record playing through her head.

She has never been put in a situation where she blamed herself for a break-up. But this time it was all her, all her fault, she couldn't imagine living without him.
Her heart churned and her eyes swollen, her smile demolished, her feelings scattered.
I hate myself too, i hate how much of a hoe i have been, he loved me, valued me, made me feel owned, loved, and best of all was loyal to me.

Nathen, the guy who left his fingerprint on my heart. The guy whose smile makes my day, the guy whose words make me shiver in pleasure. I love him, and i always will.
I want him to forgive me, i want him to forget i ever hurt him that bad... Is it too selfish? Too selfish to want him so badly after i have hurt him??
I want him happy.... But with me, i want another chance... a second one.
But can I ask for one?
He hates me or at least thats what he said. His words moves my insides in a way I never felt, it makes me feel dirty, as if i committed a crime.... I miss my Nathen. I want my Nathen.

Not a bloody cold body, who feels nothing but pity for me...
'If you hate me, then why are you sticking around?'
I asked, tears staining my face.
'I've got pity for you,  I'm scared you'll hurt yourself in some way, just promise you won't and i am off.'
My heart breaks into a million more pieces, he is gone, the guy who once loved me is gone.

I don't blame him, i did hurt him bad....

*Annika is in the picture above*