I Like It When You're Angry

Chapter 14

"Mina? Mina!"

I didn't answer, I didn't care anymore. Everything was over. All my "troubles," all of my "fears," they were gone. Probably because they were never there to begin with. A hand gripped my shoulder, and I flinched, the physical contact uncomfortable for me.

"Mina! What happen-...."

I turned, to see all of the Gods flooding through the archway to the dining hall. My eyes wandered over to where Agidios was standing over Anastasia's decapitated head, his expression one of bewilderment and shock. I didn't feel anything, not one ounce of regret, or shame.

Nothing. My body was cold and numb, just like my heart. I felt my feet start to carry me away from the gory scene, right through the group of the hostile Gods. My hair was disheveled and knotted, my makeup was smeared around my eyes, while trails of dried tears stained my cheeks. My dress was tattered and dirty; my arms and legs were covered in gashes and bruises.

"Mina. What have you done! Anastasia was your friend! She was loyal to the Gods! Why, why would you ever do such a thing!?"

I halted, almost at the foot of the stairs, so close to perfect isolation, but not yet. Slowly but surely, I made my way back through the crowd of Gods, and walked straight up to Agidios. His small beady eyes peered out at me from his plump face, and his mouth was open, waiting for my reply.

I stood my ground, blood caked and dried on my arms, my lip was split and bleeding. Yet I managed, to whisper the words, "Anastasia killed Edgar." I felt as though I would vomit, and my stomach churned with agony. Agidios's face turned a sickly, pale white, and he looked to the other Gods as they too, had heard what I said.

He started to reach out for me, to console me, but I took an uneasy step backward. I shook my head vigorously, not letting myself cry in front of them. My hands were balled up in tight fists, and I wanted to scream so badly that it made my head throb. "She killed him." I repeated, staring down at my feet as I started to hug myself.

"Mina, it's going to be alright. Just listen to me." Agidios took another step forward, this time he placed his arms around my shoulders.

I couldn't stand it, I loathed his very touch, I loathed all the pity and remorse they were feeling for me. All the pathetic looks and demeaning thoughts. It sliced through me like a knife, and I was bleeding hatred. I wanted it to stop, all of it to just stop.

"....No...." Yet Agidios wouldn't let go, he kept trying to embrace me, but it wouldn't change anything. Edgar would still be dead, and it was all my fault. I was the reason he wasn't alive.

"NO!" I shoved Agidios away, and ran through the hall, bursting through the Mansion doors, out into the pouring rain. I stumbled and tripped against the gravel path, eventually falling completely. I let myself lay there, let the rain drench me to the core, hoping, just hoping, that maybe it would wash away all the guilt and pain. That maybe I wouldn't feel so worthless and hollow.

I screamed, on the top of my lungs. My heart was slowly cracking right down the center, until it finally split into two. A wave of shock swept over me, and I felt as if someone had taken a meat cleaver to my chest, ruthlessly hacking away until they took the one thing that used to be so precious to me. I curled my knees inward towards my chest; my hands shook and my body shuddered with a disturbing sense of self-loathing.  I had nothing left to live for.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's time."

I nodded, sitting on my bed with my veil in my hands. Staring out the window, I gingerly placed it on my head, bringing the veil down over my eyes. I stood in front of the mirror, smoothing out my black skirt and blouse. Taking the pair of black, leather gloves that sat patiently on my dresser, I walked out my bedroom and down the stairs.