The anger I have built inside me for years upon years.has affected me more than it should. My dad not being there for me. He never picked me up never even sent me a message and that hurt. With two of my best friends dead that committed suicide life has been hard. I am becoming the old me. But I sit here and I think about what I have made mistakes on. I hurt people who I lock up the way I do. They wonder if it's their fault and wonder if they did something wrong. I feel so bad for locking up the way I do. I can't help it though I sit here and cry every night I cry myself to sleep thinking why me. I hurt this girl cause I locked up i became the old me in 30 seconds I yelled at her. That's not new me or even the older me. I respect the girls I adore them I would never yell at them but I did i feel like a monster for doing that. It hurts me cause I absolutely respect girls and every thing they do. That one moment that old me slipped and ruined my day cause of a traumatic event in my life.
