An Extraterrestrial's guide to Humanity

Introduction to Humans

If you are reading this now I'm probably dead. By now the MREs and my water supply have been depleted or my tumor has killed me. Because humanity is most likely dead or incomprehensibly mutated by the nuclear fallout you probably haven't encountered a "normal" human before. That's why I have prepared this guide. To put it frankly, the majority of humans were idiots. We backed a war that would've only gotten us killed and succeeded in doing so.

We're not all horrible. There are a large quantity of powerful minds throughout history. We have children, who have children, and so on. We watch movies, play video games, and study our planet as well as its inhabitants.

However, this doesn't mean that we are all gifts from God either. We kill, we rape, we destroy. If you keep reading you will learn the positive things and the more gratuitous nature of humanity as well. We as a race may be feeble, devolved, and savage like to whoever or whatever finds this book, but there is definitely more to homo-sapiens than meets the eye.

Humans are a very odd species, and if you are to encounter a living, breathing human being you should act calm and be helpful. This will give you some level of trust.

There are specific things that will in a sense trigger a humans brain to send signals and chemicals to specific areas of the body telling them they should hide or flee. In other words causing them fear would destroy your chances of creating positive relations with a human.

Assuming that an extraterrestrial such as yourself looks far different than other species on the planet, you could look very frightening to the more inexperienced beings of the wasteland that was earth, it is imperative that you do not alert any local groups of survivors to your presence until you have been befriended by a member of the group

Showing any weaponry could be a detrimental factor to any relationship. Know this however, in my studies of the human brain they will undoubtedly attempt an attack. If your gear can handle flaming balls of lead shooting at you at three thousand seven hundred and fifty feet per second, you should be fine. If you cannot withstand these attacks then... You better start running.

Finding a human is one thing; finding a good human is another. The apocalypse has devolved most people into savages who scrounge the land for any supplies. Do not approach these people. However these people are desperate and will do anything, so if they appear hostile do not hesitate to defend yourself.

Assuming you find this writing and humanity has recovered from the nuclear fallout, you should probably get the hell out. Humans do not take kindly to intruders. Especially those who the do not know the species.

I encourage you to keep reading. Over the years I have become an aficionado concerning pop-culture and history. The fallout is a dangerous place. And if you want to take the chance and go out into the wasteland unprepared, go ahead. If not, we have much to discuss.