Losing, what a tragic thing.
Sometimes we grow from losing the things we have.
Someti mes you cry and hate yourself after losing a person you love.
I have lost so many things, I've grown numb.
It's hard to fake a smile when you have such a deep pain, eating away your heart.
The pain is always there, like a sore thumb, it throbs constantly.
Sometimes it dulls and sometimes it's like your heart has been smashed into a million shards and nothing can fix it.
No one can fix it.
And the shards stab you everywhere and you only feel pain.
Sometimes it feels like you've gotten hit by a train and you can't breath because it hurts so much.
Sometimes you can't feel anything because your so tired.
Tired from the constant battle of life and death.
Sometimes, you're so numb, you have to do something to MAKE you feel.
Something, anything.
To take away the emotional pain.
But I've learned to ignore the pain that's always there, I've learned to bury it.
But as soon as you forget about it it comes back and the cycle repeats.
You get hit by the same damn train every time, and it hurts so fucking bad.
You cry until there is nothing left in you.
Until there's no more life, no will to hang on to the little bit of sunshine I have in my dark, stormy heart.
But I remember my family and I trudge along because I know they are hurting too.
And they couldn't stand it if I left them.
But my pain is worse.
And the cycle keeps going, and the pain never ends.
I know one day I'll be so numb I won't remember my family.
My little light at the end of the tunnel will flicker.
And that day is the day that my pain will end.
So I guess I haven't grown from losing.
And the pain finally goes away.
Thanks to my little, silver friend.
