M I L E 1
Isaiah Darby was capable of many things. Including, it seemed, breaking my heart.
I'd returned home last night from a month long stint in Phapang, Thailand, where I'd been assigned to write a story on the children there for the latest issue of Looking Glass, the internationally published magazine. It'd been technology free, and so now, this morning, I'd only just begun to sift through my email, deleting irrelevant announcements and reading through the occasional message.
And that was when I'd found the email from Isaiah.
He hadn't answered his phone last night when I'd called to get in touch, but it'd seemed irrelevant then. He was a new doctor. He had long hours. His sleeping pattern was constantly changing. But now I wasn't so sure that was the reason.
The message had been wedged between an engagement ring advert and a reply from my boss about a past article I'd written. I'd skimmed over it at first, barely noticing it, and then gone back, brow furrowing. Isaiah never sent me emails.
For June, it was labelled.
I clicked on it without thinking and then immediately wished I hadn't. But it was too late now; I was reading over the message, unable to look away. Unable to stop.
Dear June, it read. I'm afraid I haven't been truthful with you lately. I know these past few months have been rocky and I've been rather secretive. But it's time you know the truth. All those late nights I've been out haven't been because I'm working. My shifts are normal. Normal as they've always been. Instead, I've been elsewhere. With other women. I've been cheating on you, June, and I'm terribly sorry for it.
I never planned on things turning out this way, and I know you've counted on me to always do the right thing. And while the past mistakes have already been made, I'm trying to make things right now. I'm coming clean.
At this point in time, I just don't feel as if things between us are going anywhere. It's part of the reason I've been unfaithful; I don't love you anymore, June. And I can't be with you because of it.
Please know it was never my intention to hurt you, but that the choice I've made about us is truly for the best. I hope your trip to Thailand has been wonderful, and I wish you all the best with everything in the future.
Regards,
Isaiah
I sat rather blankly in my chair after that, unsure of how to comprehend his message. It almost would have been comical to me, had this confession not rung with some ounce of truth. The late nights, the suspicious phone calls, the vague answers. How with each passing day, he'd seemed to grow ever more distant. I felt like an idiot. I'd been so embarrassingly naïve. What else could he have possibly been up to all those endless evening hours?
I've been cheating on you, June.
Still, regardless of my idiocy, it hurt. I'd been with Isaiah for a good seven and a half years, and the idea of losing him was frightening. Even the thought of not having him around made me feel empty. Half-there. He wasn't just in my life, after all; he was part of it.
Offhand comments from friends began to filter in then, and each one only seemed to solidify what Isaiah had just confessed. You two have been together for so long, it's a wonder you aren't married yet. You don't even live together? Well, he's at least proposed, hasn't he? They were things that hadn't seemed to matter then, but now they were only bits of one big truth that I hadn't been able to see.
