MARKUS, 1

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Have you ever felt more relatable to an inanimate object more than a human? I mean, I know that I can be a combination of a sloth and whatever animal Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh is more than any normal senior in high school. Usually people in college are the ones who act that way though right? All the guidelines point to me graduating soon, figuring out life, jobs taxes and most importantly responsibility. Of course I'm completely psyched to be away from my dysfunctional family, but i still feel inanimate and oddly emotionless. But who wants to deal with adulthood I'm already out of that idea;Therefore I'll have to deal with being inanimate and live with adulthood (and the awful death sentence of student loans). I'm not sure what to write and who will ever be interested in reading my "journal" or whatever this thing is. Last week during my session, the therapist handed me a black leather bounded journal to write in and let out all of my thoughts and 'anger'.

Little does he know Clinical Depression mostly deprives you of any and all motivation. So I have not one clue on why I'm writing here today. I don't know if I think it will bring me salvation from my disorder or help me deal with my either Homeric or unnecessary problems, I just know that I finally have someone to talk to. But yeah, i guess for me, Markus, this could either be the prolouge of my sucess or more likely inevitable failure.

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