The Temptations of Friendship

Chapter 1 I'm a Good Girl

Why did I think I could do this, I have no experience. I'm not that smart. I think she chose me because she knew I would fail. Maybe she thinks I really am smart and I have potential to do great things. But what if I screw something up. What if I do an even worse job than the last person. Focus Ray focus. You can do anything you put your mind to. Wow, for a second there I almost encouraged myself enough to believe I can do something. Well I guess now's the time to prove myself, especially since this big fancy corporate woman is coming into town to train me. I guess that makes me feel a little bit important, some random chick from our corporate office coming here for me. I hope she's nice. I also hope she's not an idiot, but then again she's corporate so she must be smart. "Good morning", a deep voice says interrupting my anxiety. Standing there in what looks to be her grandmothers hand me downs is Miss Mildred. If I had to describe Miss Mildred, I immediately have you go back in time to the 1950s and 60s. When older black women made sure their wigs were properly cut to the precise measurement of their head, dresses that go below the knee, stockings that look too small and itch. She talks as if she's been a smoker in her past life, although now she's super holy and would not dare to have a cigarette enter her mouth. "Good morning miss Mildred" I respond very quickly and begin to shuffle things at my desk as if I'm so busy. "How you likin your new position ms thang"? I smile gently but hesitate to answer while leaning my head to the left a little. "It's going good, a lot to learn that's for sure" I bet, she says. She delivers a huge grin before walking toward Mrs. Dickinson office. Dickinson is my boss, and probably the biggest "you know what" I've ever met in my life. She seems to be one of those really old miserable women who like to torture people with her non amusing sarcasm. She's a short stout little thing, round piglet shaped face, dusty blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and fair skin. She would almost seem like a sweet little lady if you just glance at her and don't make conversation. Luckily I've stayed off her radar today, she seems to have a lot going on and none of it involves me. Thank God. I glanced at my computer and notice that it's 12:00. I'm supposed to leave early today so that I can go make arrangements to get into a music course. I feel like I'm getting so much older and my life is going nowhere. Sure your 20's are not old, but it is too old to be sitting on your butt doing nothing, except repeating the same bland pattern every day of the week. On my way out the door I run into Mr. Hart. When I say run into him I mean literally run into him, knocking all of his lunch onto the floor. Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, I hope you're okay. "I'm fine" he says. "Guess I didn't really need to eat that cake anyhow huh". What the heck is wrong with me I'm such a klutz. Of all the people in the office to run into I run into him. The one person who has ever had the ability to make me completely speechless. Uh, I , umm. (get your mind together girl you're stuttering) I ummm should replace that for you. "Hey listen don't worry about it, it's really not that big a deal". No really I feel terrible, that was your lunch. "Trust me I'm not starving you're fine". Ha (No you're fine, Lord have mercy you just don't know how "fine" you are). Well umm anytime you don't have lunch you let me know and I'll go pick something up for you. He smiles and again assures me that it's okay. A true gentlemen he is. Lord forgive me for lusting after this man. I turn to get on the elevator and try to compose myself. There's just something that he does to me. Why can't I just talk to him like he's a normal person? Why does he have to be so dern gorgeous? Okay okay snap out of it and get yourself together here. As I'm on my way out the building my phone rings, It's Janay. One of my oldest and best friends. "Hey bud". She never calls me by my name. Hey J what's up? "Just wanted to check and see how everything is going, been a minute since we talked". Well I mean it's going about as good as I think it can, being that I don't know anything major going on in life. "Yeah that's true bud, and that is why I calling. Listen I wanted to see if you wanted to go out this weekend". She does this every weekend, and every weekend I say no. Janay feels that if I go out and "party" I'll find a man. She's been on the "find Ray a man" mission for quite sometime now. "Come on bud, you oughta get tired of going to church all the time. Then wonder why you have no social life, and no man. You have to know that's because you don't ever get out". As persistent as she is, I never fold. Oh I don't have a man because I don't want one. (Hmmm that almost sounded convincing.) "Girl bye who you think you fooling, I know what you really want but won't admit".
Oh really what is that Nay!