Broken Glass

Chapter 2: As Above, So Below

Religion has become a joke, those who still have faith are put into psychiatric wards or disappear. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen(Hebrews 11:1). So what do you do when your hope has been crushed and your vision clouded by the lies and corruption of those around you. The thought of a God actually existing makes me feel as though I am going insane. And the thought of me starting to believe in him petrified me. Years ago I got pulled into religion by a couple of friends and studied satanism. It was scary at first but it was honestly just a spiritual journey of finding ones self. I learned many teachings and principles that I still use today. That is why I know that if what The man in black said is true, if they really are , demons , than "As above, So below" right ?

Fear bled through my shirt as his words echoed in my head, replaying over and over like a broken vinyl. The seven men including the man in black left the room through the rust devoured door that hung from it's fragile hinges. The sound of the door slamming was the last thing I heard for a long time, the echo reverberated for a while until the silenced drowned it out. The absence of their presence was a gift and a curse, I no longer felt intimidated by their dead stare or motionless bodies, but being alone with my thoughts was far worse. You can't escape your own mind no matter how hard you try, I physically tried to rip away my fears, after a while the pain from ripping out my hair became a sort of numbness if I couldn't feel I couldn't think right?
But twisted images of the young boy who was shot flooded my mind. I tried to cope with a sort of aphrodisiac, thoughts of when I was better off or when I felt free not so trapped and weak. But it's useless it's all fucking pointless the brain, body, and soul are dissimilar from your mind, heart, and spirit. Trying to alter the brain, body, and soul in this physical plane won't change anything, yeah you'll change but you'll only evolve further according to man-made ideals and customs, you won't ever find peace, serenity, true affection. Knowing this why did I even try, I sat there looking at the trees outside the window, how the moonlight reflected off the earth toned bark how the leaves danced in the wind. A thought provoking sight that made me think what if. What if this was their plan all along to capture me drain me of all my hope and intellect, to bring me to my lowest point so they could control me as they pleased.

The mosaic pattern embroidered on the window was beautiful, I walked over to the glass and pressed my fingers against it, tracing the floral print. The cold glass began to numb my fingers, the world was just on the other side of that glass, no, life was just on the other side of that glass. I danced to the rusty silver door, then made a dash for the window. I thought if I was to die why not die in irony, why not die while clinging on to life. Jumping from the tenth floor of an abandoned hospital gives you a lot of time to regret it but I couldn't think straight enough to form emotions. The ground was just meters away before I stopped, something in me snapped like a part of me was being returned something that had been ripped away from me it felt like a wound was being healed. My feet dangled meters from the ground, I was flying.

Monday June 6, 2029, 11:23

I rose a few more meters off the ground, then higher I danced and swayed with the leaves, the wind brushing off of my body, in this moment I felt free. I looked at the hospital and saw three ravens perched on the windowsill from where I jumped, a moment later the seven men and the man in black appeared in hospital entrance, I was thrown into a state of disorientation and began to fall, I felt my body hit the ground but felt no pain.