Safe Travels

Whirlwind

The wind was pleasant, blowing across my face and cooling it from the heat of the midday sun. The trees swayed and whispered, and the grass was soft beneath my feet. Alaine had taken me to a park she knew of, a bit of a stretch away from the city, but it was worth it.

She was a couple of feet away from me, playing with the ducks around the pond and enjoying the scenery. She looked so beautiful and innocent, and just looking at her in that moment made my heart swell.

This is bad.

I was scared, to say the least. I had never witnessed good love in my life, and I had no reason to believe it existed. I was insecure, anxious, and convinced I would never have a lasting relationship. The way this girl made me feel was new to me. The way she looked in the sunlight, golden and beautiful and perfect, made my heart flutter in the most amazing way.

"See something you like hon?" Her teasing smirk and mirth filled eyes brought me back to reality.

"Oh... Uh... Um..." I looked away and felt a blush heating my cheeks.

Two fingers lifted my chin, and suddenly Alaine was right there and her lips were right there and her breath was so close. I leaned in until there was only a millimeter of space left, and she moved to close the gap.

There were fireworks. Fireworks and electricity and a need to be infinitely closer to this magnificent creature. Her lips moved perfectly in sync with mine, and for the first time since my first kiss I wasn't scared that I was doing something wrong. I had no insecurities, even as I tangled my hands in her hair and pulled her closer. The kiss deepened and suddenly she was on top of me, licking my bottom lip and asking for entrance. I gladly let her in, and her tongue gracefully found mine. I moaned softly as our tongues danced passionately.

Alaine pulled away all too soon, panting and smiling.

"My my Megan, you're good at that." I blushed like mad, going through fifty shades of red as Alaine giggled.

I lifted my head to try and reattach our lips, but Alaine pulled away teasingly and stood up. I whimpered softly when I saw her eyes. They were dark with lust and sparkling with affection. I quickly stood up and pushed her back until she hit a tree and my lips were on hers again. She moaned at my roughness and eagerly returned the kiss.

I felt heat build up between my legs, and without even realizing it I began grinding against her pelvis. Her hands were on my waist, pulling me closer and toying with the hem of my shirt.

"Baby we-" my lips moved from hers to her neck. "We can't do this-" she moaned when my mouth latched onto her sweet spot. "Not here baby... Oh..." She bucked her hips and squealed when I bit down softly on her neck. Finally I pulled away and examined my handiwork. I was very satisfied with the purple hickey on her neck.

A shit eating grin spread across my face, but I'm sure with my dark eyes and lust filled gaze I just looked predatory. "Okay. Let's go back to the hotel then."

I threw a wink over my shoulder as I began walking away in the direction of the city.

We were halfway to the hotel when I got a call. In hindsight, I realize I always expected this call to come, it felt undeniably inevitable. Yet to hear the words in the heat of a devastating moment, you feel completely unprepared. No one is ever prepared to hear of their mother's passing. Especially from a complete stranger. It's like God blew out the candle of life, and now a kindly man was here to hand you the melted wax as proof that the flame was extinguished.

I imagined my mother, stringy blonde hair with wrinkles of age and hard cold eyes. I imagined the white powders she inhaled and burned and inhaled some more. I imagined that suddenly she was the white powder, and she was drifting away in the wind. I imagined her meanness, layered over a softness I had only seen at a time before our family was broken. I felt that burning desire in the pit of my chest that I felt when I came out, the utter need to be loved and accepted by my mother.

Tears fell down my eyes, my throat constricted, and the sidewalk and the people on it became blurry. Something slammed into my shoulder, a wall, and I was suddenly sinking down onto the sea of concrete, letting it carry me into oblivion as I cried. Arms wrapped around me, a warm softness engulfed me. I was lifted off the ground, being carried by someone. I was too far gone to know who it was. All I registered was the searing pain in my chest.

Before I knew it, I was laid on to something soft. How I had gotten back to the hotel, I didn't know. I just kept crying until I was so exhausted that I couldn't cry anymore. Finally, my eyes closed and I was so tired that I couldn't even feel the emptiness in my heart anymore.