Sad Rants

Sans, Undertale

Have you ever remembered things from different times? Has your brother been killed by this kid you knew in a different timeline, the kid that you kinda grew to love like your own sibling? No, you prob'ly haven't. NO ONE HAS. This human kid, Chara or Frisk or whatever you want to call this wretched thing, has controlled my world since the beginning. Yeah, there're some aspects they can't control, but they can... let's just say it ain't pretty. They can kill me. I remember every single time I've been slashed open with that knife. 

It hurts, yes, in case you're wondering. It hurts a lot. 

Frisk, I loved. This human kid is adorable- and... they're the kindest human or monster I've ever met. I dunno... it's just, there's somethin' about 'em. They spared everyone- yeah, I know about the SPARE and MERCY buttons. And I know about the RESET button way too much. 

Think of it this way. Every time you accomplish something, every time you actually make a mark on the world, you change something, make a new friend, you name it- suddenly, all gone. Goes back to where you started- where you had nothing. And you can't control any of it, at all. No one else knows about this stuff. They don't know that you had watched your brother die countless times at the hand of a kid you used to love. Is it fair? No. Can I control it? No. 

Chara. This kid. This... no, not a human. Just a kid. They're the most... disgusting, horrible, revolting being I've ever met. Killing for fun, doing things just for the sake of doing 'em... and then. Then. They know. They know that I have to suffer through all this. I'm not being selfish- or am I? I don't really care. No matter what I tell y'all, it's just gonna get reset again, isn't it? 

Frisk and Chara, Chara and Frisk... they're the same kid, they just do different things. I don't actually completely understand it myself- it just depends on what they do. Every time a human kid comes down here, walking through that big purple door, I  can tell what's gonna happen to them. I can tell whether or not they've killed anyone, and how many, and if they've killed Toriel. I can tell if they're going to kill me. I can tell if they're going to kill my brother. 

And then I just know what to say, somehow. 

But you know what? Every single time a human goes bad, every time they choose... the genocide route, I guess you could call it, I go to Snowdin. At least I try to get there. I always hope that I'm going to be there in time to stop this murderer from killing Papyrus. And every time I get there, hoping I'm not too late this time, just once, there's always just a pile of dust, and I see Papyrus's scarf just lying there in the snow, and I know I was late again, that I'm useless. That I can't even stop the death of my brother when I know it's coming. Every single time, I can feel him dying. And every single time, I can't stop it from happening. 

Papyrus. Undyne. Toriel. Asgore. All my friends, dead. And why should I care anymore? It's just going to happen over and over again, and in the end I'll just be watching myself bleed out when suddenly I'm walking around for the Royal Guard in that forest again, waiting for a human kid to come along. Then it happens all over again, and I end up where I started, everything I fought for, everything I did, reset. So all in all, I don't really care anymore. I've been watching this happen for who-knows-how-long, and even though it still hurts, I know it's beyond my control, and I just have to stand back and let it all happen. 

Why am I telling you all this? Yeah, I know, word's probably gonna get out that oh my gosh, there's this skeleton named Sans that has major emotional problems!! We should totally kick him out of the Underground!! Well, buddy, lemme tell you this: When you've seen as much as I have, then, like I said, you come to not care about anything anymore. Why am I always smiling? There's nothing to smile about, right? ...Okay, yes, it's for Papyrus. My bro can't figure out something's wrong. The naive little idiot... well, anyways, as I was saying: I'm telling you all this because it won't matter in the end. 

In the end, it's all going to be reset again, right?