Can't Save Myself

My Friends And I Have Problems

       Gianna and I were the first ones to arrive is Mrs. McClenin's office, to say she wasn't pleased would be an understatement. She was terrifying. I was holding onto Gianna's leather jacket so tightly that I think I even bruised her. She whispered calm down into my ear over and over but it wasn't helping. We got to Mrs. McClenin's office and I sunk to the ground as an anxiety ridden mess.

"Jesus Christ, seriously." Brandon groaned as he walked in rolled his eyes in my direction.

"Don't even start, asshole. She's new and is extremely anxious. Just give her a break for now." Bella said coming to my defense.

"Yea it didn't help that you wolf whistled her as soon as she got here dude." Jesse stated defensively.

So that was him, I thought quickly. Maybe he isn't a complete jerk. He called you a whore, just like everyone at your old school. I subtly turn my arm over to look at my wrist. I look down to see the faded white lines spelling out 'slut' on my forearm. They were badly covered with foundation but if you knew they were there or looked close enough you would see the horrible mistakes of my past. My eyes started to well up with tears as I remembered the horrible things that happened to me at my old school. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I hear Mrs. McClenin angrily yell at us to be quiet. She walked around her desk and straight over to me, I looked up to see her green eyes staring down at me. Her eyes softened as I looked back down and sniffled.

"Who is she?" She softly said to Gianna.

Gianna looked at me nervously, I nodded slowly "The new girl, Blair. Why?"

Mrs. McClenin looked back to me crouched down and simply said "You may go."

I was in no place to argue as I quickly nodded grabbed my bag and left her office as fast as I could. I flashed Gianna a sympathetic smile and left without a word. Once I was safely hiding in a bathroom stall I pulled out my iPhone and texted my best friend from my old school.

Me: Steph hey I really need to talk to someone so please as soon as you see this message me. I love you

Steph: Cant talk in class love. Ill message you as soon as I can promise. Love you too
I locked my phone and sighed sadly. I guess I should go back to class, right? I stood up pulled out some eyeliner and fixed my makeup. Right before I walked out two girls walked in and looked at me curiously. The one was slightly shorter, she had short brown hair with bangs. She was pale but looked somewhat hispanic. The other was about my height, blondish-brown short hair, and an amazing sense of style from what I can see. I brushed past them quickly.

      "Nice makeup." On of them called as I ran to the guidance office desperately. I stood against the wall for a second to calm myself down before walking in slowly. I asked the lady at the desk for a Mr. Ueda. Little did I know he was in lunch and I had to come back in an hour. Right before I went to leave the bell rang. Kids flooded the entire center of the school. I retreated back to the office to ask for help on getting to my class. The lady kindly gave me directions on how to get to my next class, which just so happened to be history pretty easy in my opinion. I saw Gianna walking across the hall towards the office, I felt my anxiety lessen as I mumbled a quick 'thank you' to the lady at the desk. I walked out and grabbed her arm making her turn toward me.

       "Oh hi Blair." She said slightly startled. "What class are you going to? Actually just let me see your schedule." I passed her my class schedule, she read over it nodding "looks like we have every class together. You took choir?"

       I nod "yea I've always liked to sing, though I'm not very good. I'm glad we have class together"

       "Ohh yea about that, Brandon has about three classes with us too."

       "That's okay I mean he can't be completely terrible, right?"

       "You have no idea. Come on let's get to history."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
       History was boring, especially for me. World War Two is such a simple subject for me. Honestly I could probably teach the teacher this subject more than he could teach me.  The bell finally rang and I sighed in relief at it being the end of the day.  I'm so ready to go home and sleep. While I was at my locker Gianna came up to me and told me Tony is having a party tonight to celebrate not getting expelled for cutting class and smoking. She said she's going because she needs to release some tension, whatever that means. She told me I should go because it will give me some more human interaction and maybe let me meet new people. Apparently Tony throws epic parties. Who am I to pass up some alcohol.

       "Sure I'll go. What time?"

       "8. I'll pick you up." Bryce said walking up to us with Bella.

       "Okay sweet. See you then."

......

       I threw all my clothes out on my bed trying to find something decent to wear. I couldn't look too girly because no one would take me seriously. I need something edgy. I finally settled on high waisted shorts, a black crop top and red flannel. (Outfit in media). I take one last look in the mirror and decide to fix my makeup. It was still pretty decent but I added a dark red lipstick and darker eyeshadow. Lastly I dramatized my wings and checked my phone for the time. Seeing it was 7:45 I figured Bryce and Bella would be here soon. Almost as soon as my feet hit the bottom step I heard them call my name. I ran outside and got in.

"Damn girl." Bella laughed as I got in. "You look great."

I blushed and laughed "thanks I guess."

"You two ready" Bryce groaned from the drivers seat.

"Calm down you" Bella said annoyed before kissing him quickly. "Yes I am. You?"
"Yea I think so. Let's do this."