hickeys and bruises/ Jikook [Completed]

leaving because I love you

GUYS I AM SO HAPPY JIMIN IS BROWN HAIRED AGAIN
like I hoped for long time to get his brown hair back because all that dye was ruining his hair and it started to be more visible (also i know this is old pic but it fits this chapter)

JUNGKOOK pov

I stared at the key that was in my arms for hours. I was having a dillema. Should I go and see what's happening with him.
It's been three weeks I haven't seen him in school. Not that I cared that much.

I do.

No.

He doesen't deserve it.

He doesen't deserve my care.

Should I ignore my heart and listen to my brain that's telling me to stop thinking and started to actually pay attention on Taehyung that's talking about how cool he was on P.E today.

"Kookie? Uhm. Hello!" I felt ligh kick on my shoulder. Do I look like punching bag?

"I'm listening no need to punch me."

He smiled and kissed the place he 'punched'.
Damn it why is he always so cute, like a kid.

I put the key in my pocket. My eyes traveled to Taehyung's eyes and than to his lips.

No matter how weird and fucked up it is I was using Taehyung.

Not in a bad way.

Or in a good way.

Just...the thing is no matter how hard I try to love him I can't.

Like I can see his flaws and all the good things but there is always gonna be fear.

Fear of being left.

Fear of being alone again.

Fear of being not good enough.

For him and anyone else.

I used sex for erasing all these weird thoughts and trying to make bigger bond between us.

Was I addicted to passion?

I just needed to feel touched, wanted and good.
And he's making me feel really good.

Too bad not the way I wanted.

Only person after Jimin that wanted to be with me is him.
Not only like lover but like a friend.

He liked to talk and I'm a great lisener.

As I stared at his lips he gently placed his hands on my hips and pulled me closer.

Weird.
It's still weird to do things like this in a house I used to be beaten up, called names and felt such a fear I can't explain.
All because of loving the same gender.

And now I do stuff with Taehyung. On the couch, in my room and if my dad is alive.
He would hate me even more.

I decided to shut my mind off.
And Taehyung is being great help.

.

JIMIN pov

"Yeah mom I'm ready."
".."
"Fine I will eat something before I go."
"..."
"Okay."
"...!"
"What?"
"...."
"Fine." I clear my throat. "I love you too." It felt weird. The words. "Are you happy?"
"...."

I hang up and decided to find Tiger to put him in his little traveling house. Where is that cat?

I did a thing. Leaving the school a year before finnishing it.
I guess it sound stupid but that was best idea for me.
I become addicted. To drinking.