All I want is for you to like me… why don't you? What made you change your mind?
I can't stand the thought that, once upon a time you and I were as close as close can be, but now…
Even the sun and Earth have more interaction than you and I,
I try and try and try to work out what went wrong, but I can never see past my desire to keep you safe.
Everyone has those people, that one where they accidently fall for each other and end up having a wonderful relationship,
You and I were once like that, stumbling through our feelings, and trying to figure out this screwed up world.
I'm over seeing you get hurt. I'm over getting hurt because I love you. I want to stick by your side, I want to be by your side. I want you to remember what we once had, or at least tell me what went wrong.
I suppose I put too much trust in people, but I need to, I told you why I am continuously seeking companionship, why I hate being alone, why I crave connections. I just want someone to love and have them love me back. I thought that you were that person, and because I got it into my head that you liked me, I can't get you out of my head.
I close my eyes, even for a second, and all I see is you, and I don't want to open them, I love how adorable you are, I love how amazing your smile is, I love how erratic you are, how unique, funny, caring, cute, kind… the list is endless. But you care nothing for me, or at least you don't tell me. I miss staying up late, talking about the most random things, laughing at our inside jokes, fan guying of the nerdiest stuff.
I just want things to be back to the way that they were. Because I love you, and I don't know if my feelings will ever end, or how much longer I can take.
When you told me you liked two people, my heart nearly exploded. I got so excited because I thought, that maybe, just maybe, I was one of those two… but they were my best friend and a straight guy… that was the night I started to cut.
When you told me you wanted me to kiss your neck, that you would enjoy it. I was over the moon! I was so fucking happy that I couldn't keep the smile off my face, it was all I could do just to stop myself from running up and kissing you n.n
But that isn't how the story ended.. Is it? The night after I actually kissed your neck, you said you didn't enjoy them… again, I let my feelings for you take over, and in the end you shut them down. I thought, that because you were allowing me to do it, that you liked me, I mean, who would let someone that they don't even like, kiss them anywhere?
My heart broke that night, as it did Christmas eve, when she told me to fuck off, that you two were dating, and that she never wanted to see me again. And I lost my mind boxing day, when you chose her over me. To be honest, no one has ever cut me as deeply as you did that day. I trusted you, I told you what everyone else did to me, I told you of my feelings, I told you of what I thought of liars, back stabbers, traitors… and in the end, you turned into one because of that little vixen bitch.
Zoom forward nine or eight months, and I still love you. These days, I'm only ever truly happy in those three second hugs that you give me. But I know that it's one sided… I can tell by the way you hug others that you prefer them, I mean why not, they aren't a mentally and physically disturbed male child. They have emotions, they have proper feelings. They don't break down and cry every night, because the first guy they let themselves like, has no more feelings for them. They don't scream and shout their anger at inanimate objects. They don't break down at work and nearly quit their jobs because the stress of absolutely, every single little fucking thing frightens them or gets them to the point where they can no longer sleep at night because the nightmares at night, are the exact nightmares that take place during the day.
WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!
