You know what makes me angry? When people tell me that I'm making shit up. That what I'm seeing, isn't really there. I don't listen to them. Sure, I act like am, but really I'm not. Why would I? I mean, they all call me crazy, but June tells me otherwise. So, I just stopped worrying about what other people think. As long as June tells me everything is okay, then there is no need to worry.
People always tell me I'm crazy, but I don't think so. It's just whenever I try to point out June to someone they can't seem to find her. They either look, or they leave the room after calling me crazy. Usually it's after they're gone, and the door is closed, that I find that June was behind there the whole time. We laugh for awhile, or until it's one of the days where mom comes up to tell me that we're leaving to see Susan. I like Susan, well maybe not at first. When we first met she tried to tell me that June wasn't real. But, how can you tell me someone isn't real when they're standing right behind you? So I got angry, and we had to call it a day.
Susan is really nice. After our first meeting she told me that she was sorry for telling me that June wasn't real. I forgave her, and so did June. After that every meeting was the same. We'd come in, Susan would ask how June and I are doing, and then we move onto a different topic. Most of the time it was just things that I did, or didn't, like. Sometimes I told Susan things about June. Then one day Susan asked about school.
"How are your grades?" She asked like my mom usually did at the end of each week.
"Good. I got an A on my last history test." I beamed.
"Good! What about friends at school?"
"I don't have any friends at school." I looked at her questionably. This seemed to make her raise an eyebrow at me.
"But Tony, don't you think that a fifteen year old boy, like you, should have some friends?"
"I don't need friends, I have June." I shrugged.
"Ah, I see." She nodded while looking down, and wrote something on the notepad she always seems to have with her. I didn't know it, but that question is what would change everything for me the next day.
It was Saturday, so that meant I didn't have school that day. Which also meant that I was in the backyard hanging out with June. We were just sitting on the lawn chairs, taking in the sun.
"June?" I looked over at her.
"Yes, Tony?" She asked, still looking ahead.
"How come you never leave my side?" She finally turns to look at me. Moving her sunglasses to were they rest upon her head.
"Because, I can't." She stated, smiling at me sweetly.
"Well, why not?" I did the same with the sunglasses I was wearing, looking her in the eyes. That was when her smile fell for the first time in ten years.
"You know why, Tony." I started to shake my head violently.
"No!" I screamed at her, but not at her at the same time.
"Tony, you need to listen to me!" She yelled.
"No! Don't say it, don't say it!" I cried, tears rushing down my face. But, I knew already what she was going to say. It was something I knew all along.
"Tony, you and I both know you have to let me go."
"But, I don't want to lose you!" By now I was sobbing into my hands.
"Letting me go doesn't mean losing me. Letting me go means freeing you." The following Monday I had another meeting with Susan. But, this time June wasn't with me.
"How are you, Tony?" My therapist asked.
"Okay, I guess." I told her truthfully.
"What about June?"
"June isn't real, not anymore." She wrote that down in her notepad.
"Really, how so?" She asked like she didn't already know. But, I guess what she wanted was for me to finally admit it.
"Because, June died is a car crash ten years ago when I was five." I admitted for the first time in years.
"Then, why did you make yourself believe that she was still here?" More writing.
"Because, I couldn't handle the death of my sister." I sighed deeply. Letting years of pint up emotions out.
"Why is that, Tony?" She finally asked. I gave her the best answer I could.
"June was special, and there will never be a girl like her. Never." Goodbye, June.
Goodbye, Tony.
