A Florist's Guide to Love

0th | Ground Zero

"Alright, buddy.  We're here. Are you ready?"

"Of course not!  You're introducing me to a girl I've never met."

"Well, not really.  She's my sister.  Some of our interests cross paths.  Try to think of the female version of me."

"Urgh, gross."

"Okay, maybe not.  Actually, my sister and I are polar opposites in terms of personalities."

"That's worse."

"No, it's not.  Remember the last time I crashed my car into a fence?"

"You weren't even qualified to drive yet.  I had no idea how you could be so reckless."

"Precisely.  On the flip side, my sister is level-headed, responsible, thoughtful..."

"From what I remember, you were complaining about your sister when we last mentioned her."

"She threw away my entire beer collection!"

"Good, good... Let the hate flow through you."

"Come on.  She was merely watching over my alcohol habits."

"Uh-huh..."

"Now, are you up and ready?"

"I'm not sure.  I have a bad feeling about this.  What if I sneeze in front of her?"

"Good thing I came prepared.  It's dangerous to go alone!  Take this."

"A surgical mask?  Who do you think I am?  A doctor?"

"I always think of you as my companion."

"Will you stop with the references?"

"You started it first."

"Let's just drop it...  What do I do with this fricking mask?"

"Well, what else?  You wear it, and you'll be shielded from pollen grains."

"I really appreciate your concern for my allergy problems, but isn't this too much?  Your sister will see me as a creep."

"You worry too much.  On the contrary, I think the mask will make your eyes pop."

"I'm not a fan of that."

"It's just an expression.  Besides, it can hide your blush."

"... Fair point."

"Phew!  I never thought I would see this day coming.  We're on the same page."

"Yeah, yeah.  How am I going to approach her?  Will you introduce me to her or..."

"I'll stand at the side entrance and leave you to your own devices."

"Congratulations!  You've made your friend's life a whole lot more difficult."

"I don't want to do that either.  If I present you as my friend, she'll most likely reject you."

"Why?"

"She's not fond of being set up."

"I can't just go in there and ask her out!  The only reason people go to the florist's is for flowers, not the florist's phone number."

"Oh!  Why don't you go in there as a customer... and pretend you're buying flowers for a date?"

"I'm not going to lie."

"Do you have any brighter ideas?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"I thought so.  That settles it then."

"But I'm a terrible liar.  What if she asks me about the date later on?"

"Ah, you're planning ahead now.  I knew you would be into this."

"Your assumptions are ridiculous."

"You'll like her, buddy."

"But it doesn't imply that she'll have mutual feelings for me."

"It will work out."

"Are you sure?"

"Eventually."

"Your positivity is always encouraging."

"And I'm proud of it.  If you make this out alive, I'll buy you a drink."

"It's not necessary."

"I insist."

"You'll definitely get drunk."

"I won't."

"Whatever you say, man."

"Let's just get down to business, shall we?"

"We shall."

"Mark your calendars, everybody.  Today is 24th March - the day my sister meets the love of her life."

"Oh, shut up."