Please stop!

I really think I can't

          I woke up at 5 because I keep thinking of what I did last night.. I mean it was my first time trying anything like that. I went to the bath room to take a shower to get the weed and guilt of. I took a shower and stayed in there longer than I normally do. It was 6 when I got out, the only reason I did was because RaeLynn keep knocking and say '' hurry up Crystal I am going to be late!'' I got out and went to my room and started looking for clothes Lucas said we was going to hang out with some of his friends also known as potheads. I looked cute I thought skinny jeans a cute shirt and coat. I loaded myself with my perfume velvet sugar cause I thought I still smelled like weed.

        I went down stairs and told my dad bye and I loved him and told him I was hanging out with Lucas be home at 12. I got to school and he was already there so we hugged gave him a kiss and he ask '' so can we make this official?'' I said '' of course'' We walked to school he walked me in to my class. School was taking forever. My best friend Nichole looked at me and said '' are you ok you are acting weird?'' I shook my head and said '' yeah!''

         The bell rung to go home and I ran to my car and hugged him so tight. I got in his car and pot hit me like crazy, what was I getting into . We went to Jared's he introduced me to everyone, Jared was the typical pothead stupid and hot. I sat really close to Lucas and held his hand I didn't know these people at all. It got dark and Lucas ask me if I wanted to smoke some more and I said yes of course I do. One hit turned to one more and more.

        Lucas told Jared him and I need to be alone so Jared said we could go up to his room and chill. I was so out of it I went. We went up the stairs I could  barely walk so he carried me. We got up there and he layed me down on Jared's bed. I sort of started knowing where I was he layed beside me and held me tight. He slowly started kissing me more and more. I knew where this was going so I stopped him right there. I said I am sorry I can't. I could tell it made him mad he got up and started cussing saying why am I not good enough obviously he was I just couldn't. I got up barely but I got up and walked to the door he grabbed my arm and said where the hell are you going? I just stopped right there and I knew we was about to fight, I looked him dead in the eye and said let me go I am going home. He raised his hand and tried to hit me I just ran out the door and ran up the street. I finally got to my car and drove home. I went inside and just laid down, RaeLynn come in and wanted to borrow my phone charger and looked at me and said why are you eyes red... and stopped she said no you didn't did you stupid. I told her to just go on and leave me alone. 

             I woke up halfway through the night and I had 30 messages from Lucas asking why I left and he needed to talk to me I messaged him saying to please just leave me alone.  I went back to sleep and woke up at 10 and called Lucas I mean I did overreact a little. He said sorry about 50 times and we hugged and kissed. He took me to eat and we just had a great time. I told him that we needed to be alone for sometime we went back to Jared's and up to his room. We laid down and started kissing and we just well made love it felt like. He drove me home and I went to sleep thinking I love him. So I texted him and said '' I love you''