My Only Hope

Chapter 4

I was sleeping in late, but then awoke to a familiar voice. And you know who that was? Christina.
I put some purple nail polish on, then rushed downstairs and ran into Christina's arms.
"Hey, Kasey!" she said. "Hey, Christina." I replied, releasing myself from her embrace. "Kasey, is that- nail polish?" Christina asked, looking at my nails.
Mom and dad looked me straight in the eyes, making me feel uncomfortable.
"Uh, yeah." I replied, speaking slowly. "Since when do you wear nail polish?" Christina questioned. "Doesn't matter." I spoke fast, this time. Christina knew something was bothering me, I could tell she knew.
"Well, we're glad to see you!" dad changed the subject.
Thanks, dad. I thought, glad that he got everyone's attention off of me.
Christina smiled, but I knew we were going to have a talk.
***
Christina and I, were sitting in the living room. As I flipped through the channels, she questioned me again. "Kasey, its not like you to wear nail polish, what's bothering you?"
She knew my life was complicated, so I don't know why she asked. "Christina, do we have to have this talk, now?" "Yes." she said, firm.
"Fine. I just thought that some nail polish would make me look- prettier. That's all, its no big deal." I replied. "Kasey, nail polish won't make you any prettier. You're already gorgeous, don't think you have to wear this to be pretty. Do I wear nail polish just to be pretty?" she said.
"You don't need nail polish, or makeup, you're already beautiful. Look, you, mom, and dad, might say I'm beautiful, but I know that's not true. Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but just stop, please." I replied, not looking at her, I just kept flipping through channels.
"Kasey, no one should have to go through life, feeling like they're ugly, just because of what everyone else says. You're beautiful inside, and out. I love you." she said, turning my head towards her.
My eyes were getting teary.
"See these girls?" I said, and held up a magazine, "These girls are pretty, and skinny. I'm not. I'm just an ordinary girl, trying to look pretty, but that will never happen!" I yelled, then started crying. I cupped my face in my hands.
"Kasey, you're not those girls! You stand out, in a good way. You are beautiful no matter what anyone else says!" she tried to comfort me. That didn't work.
I got up and ran up to my room. I'm not beautiful, nor skinny, and will never be. I just wanted to run away where no one could find me, and nobody could ever hurt me again. Christina's lucky, she's gorgeous and can take care of herself. She's perfect in every way, and I'm hideous and fat. "Jesus! Why can't I just be better than this?!" I cried.
I was hurt and felt unloved by everyone, expect my parents and sister. I was tired of being picked on and hearing mean insults everywhere I go, I was tired of waking up everyday, feeling unloved, hurt, and feeling like I'm no good. I decided that I was going to try to lose weight, and maybe that would make me prettier. I walked downstairs, I grabbed the timer, and ran back up to my room. I set it for 5 minutes, clicked start, then did a few jumping jacks. I got tired after 1 minute, but forced myself to keep going. "Kasey! Do you want some lunch?" mom hollered.
"No, thanks!" I replied, tired, and decided to skip lunch.
"Are you sure? I have some delicious, chocolate pie that you could have for desert, afterwords."
Oh great, now she's tempting me with my favorite desert? Adding, 'delicious' thinking that'd change my mind.
Ugh! I thought. "N-no, m-mom, thanks, a-anyways!" I could hardly say 'no' to the temptation.
The timer beeped, and I fell smack down on my bed, relieved.

Awhile later, I walked downstairs, to see mom, heading out the door. "Mom, where are you going?" I questioned. "Well, I'm going down to your school, to talk to the principle, and teachers about those kids picking on you. Someone needs to put a stop to this." she said firm, trying to get out the door before I could try to stop her.
Someone needs to put an end to this, but not mom! She'll just embarrass me and make everything worse. "No! Mom! Please, you'll just make everything worse!" I held onto her arm.
"Stop it, Kasey. I will not let this go on any longer. Things can't possibly get worse." she pulled away.
"No!" I yelled, but it was too late. She had already gone out the door, ready to embarrass me.
Why does everything have to be so complicated?