There are many things you wish you could do in my position. Run, jump, play, be normal. But that was pretty much impossible anyway. I fitted in with the backdrop. Only one person acknowledged my existence. Zayn Malik. Cliche I know. But seriously its true. I lived in Bradford until 15 years old. I still kept in touch with him. How else would I have met Liam?
Zayn and I had a love/hate relationship and everyone knew it. One minute we would be laughing and joking and the next we would be pissing each other off left, right and centre and I have to admit, I found it extremely attractive. I mean, who wouldn't? He looked like he just walked of cosmopolitan magazine. He had a beautiful smile too. And these perfect eyes. But anyway, nothing ever really advanced between us, so I gave up. Although I was there for him at xfactor, on his request.
He'd known about my cancer and he'd been there for me. A shoulder to cry on. But I was always ironic when you had feelings for someone who would soon become one fifth of the worlds best boy band since the Beatles. Weirder that you've known him his whole life.
But it all changed once I met Liam. I don't know what happened really. We just drifted apart. He got Perrie. Which I was surprised about. Really surprised. You see, I'd always assumed he batted for the other team. As most decently attractive guys did, but I was obviously wrong this time.
I've strayed severely off topic. Anyway, in my near dying days, my feelings developed further. Probably the meds but you never know. He became a distraction. From being in peace. From freedom of pain. He became the reason I fought for life. And it hurt every bone in my body, along with my heart. But I did it. And I could never thank him enough. Because without him, I'd be...well...dead. And that's the truth. Without him, I wouldn't be sitting here now, with my boyfriend head banging to busted and reading comic books. None of it would've happened.
I wouldn't of seen the boys develop into men. They make me so proud. They went from 5 strangers into the 5 best friends you could ever meet. Although I've never met Louis and Harry, I've heard they're great guys. Niall's such a beautiful soul. You can't get much cuter than that boy. Apart from Kyle, my little brother. He lives with my dad in Australia. Neither of them know about either of my cancers. And I'd prefer to keep it that way really. The last thing I need is to see my dad. He's evil. And poor little Kyle would be so scared to see me. Like this. But I think he'd like Liam. Actually, I know. For a fact. Maybe they can help each other when I go? I hope so.
