Life Through Simon's Eyes

Depending on how people react to this story depends on if I will leave this as a one shot or turn it into a series. Leave a comment and tell me if you'd like to se this as a series or just a one shot.

As I reflect upon the actions of my life, I can't but help notice that I am to blame for my issues. I have always been socially awkward and growing more antisocial and withdrawn form the world and reality with each passing day, causing me to sink deeper into depression and isolation. The more that people pretend to "help" the more I could see that they are only trying to fool me and make themselves look good. I usually withdraw from the world with music, school studies, and reading.

One day I was reading one of my favorite books entitled, "Dante's Inferno" trying to clear my mind, when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Come in" I replied softly. Looking up from my book I noticed my younger brother standing in front of me.

Alvin questioned hesitantly, "I'm going to the pool...do you want to go with me?"

"Oh my God, I never thought that I would see the day when Alvin Seville would want to willing hang out with me. Sometimes I think he wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire." I thought quietly to myself. Alvin could tell that I haven't been the same older brother I had been before. I knew that he was up to something and against my better judgement, I agreed to go along with him.

We informed our dad that we were going to the community pool and would be back by eight o'clock. "Have fun and be safe." was all our father told us as we walked out the door.

Alvin waited until we were far away from the house and asked me with genuine concern in his voice, "Simon.....what's wrong? I can tell that you've changed, and I don't know any other way of saying this so please don't hate me. What's made you so depressed here lately...and please, don't say you're fine. Even dad can tell that something's changed in you and we don't want to lose you. Even your eyes have changed. They used to shine like diamonds. Sadly, they don't anymore. Now they're almost soul piercing and dead compared to the beautiful blueish grey they used to be. You mean the world to us, and especially to me. I know that you think I hate you, but I don't. I want you to know that I love you more than anything, and I want my caring and slightly geeky older brother back. I would give anything in the world to have the happy go lucky Simon Seville back."

I smiled sheepishly and replied, "I'm still that same ol' Simon. I haven't changed at all." I lied to my little brother which made me feel guilty and Alvin knew it. Alvin spun around to stand in front of me and block my path. He looked me in the eyes but didn't say a word.

I could tell by looking into his icy blue eyes that he was truly concerned for me and on the edge of a mental breakdown of his own. I knew what he was thinking without him having to say a single word. I let out a deep breath and looked away from him. It only took a few seconds before I was week in the knees and my body was shaking because I just knew Alvin was on to me. I shook my head to bring myself back to reality.

Alvin whispered to me, "Please Simon, don't lie to me. It only hurts both of us when you lie. I don't want to feel hurt by you, and I know you're tired of feeling hurt. I can see it in your eyes"

Alvin was fighting the tears that were threatening to break through. One thing that had remained the same was I couldn't bare to see my only brother cry, and I would do anything in my power to prevent him from crying.

"Okay, I'll tell you. Just try not to hate me too much." I replied softly.

"Why would I hate you? I love you, and nothing will ever change that. You're my only brother and I look up to you" He pleaded politely.

"I hope not." I thought aloud. "I-I'm g-gay." I mumbled at an almost inaudible tone as I closed my eyes and prepared for the worts beating of my life. Not knowing what Alvin would say or how he'd react was killing me inside.