The Addiction

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Drugs are not the only things that can be addicting. The first time you cut it's just a pink, puckered line. It looks angry, and it hurts a lot. You don't like it, say you won't do it again... But the more sad you feel and the faster it fades, the more you want to put it back. That one angry line turns into two. Then three. Then ten. And you KEEP GOING. Soon your skin will start to burn and your razor will scream, you will live and breathe just to rip yourself apart cut by cut. It is scientifically proven that when you cut yourself you are inflicting physical pain that will distract from your emotional pain. It will send a rush of endorphins from your brain throughout your body, and you will want it more and more because you are fucking sick and tired of being sad all of the time. It's a ridiculous, vicious cycle that really never ends. I've been clean for only three months maybe and my skin still burns when I'm sad. I catch myself scratching my arm raw or snapping a rubber band on my arm when I get upset. I'll be honest, the urge doesn't really ever go away, you just have to push through it.

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