I don't want to keep living in this pit full of sadness
I don't want to live in this house, full of madness
Every day verbally abused
They seem to be amused
All I do, lay in bed
Feeling dread inside my head
I am running out of time
Standing in the welfare line
Waiting to be accepted
Getting excited please no more rejection
Government help what bullshit
You need to do more then run, just hit
Tired of your lame excuses
Middle Aged and still acts 2ish
Smoking puffs, smell from her breathe
Turning my cheek to the left
When she tries to kiss me I won't lie
I would rather be kissing another guy
Drunken mam since I was born
Into this cruel world , now I'm torn
She would lay there on the floor
Would keep drinking plenty more
Depression became her obsession
Daddy says it's not a lie
This is the true her deep inside
But daddy don't forget your sins
Going to strip clubs since birth begins
Smoking weed, not what you need
Now leaving us to get more leaves
Abandon a troubled family some
I don't blame you, I know you want to run
From this hell hole, been trapped for years
You used to throw stuff, I would be in tears
Smelled the peaches from her breathe
As my sister showed me before we left
Cried my self to sleep that very night
Mind I was only 8, fuck that's not right
Mommy drunk and daddy high
God was truly my only guide
Now and then I remember the past
I wish to hard that it was a blast
Making fake memories I wish would last
We went on vacation one nice summer
To Disney Land with one another
Had a lot of fun no worries at all
Then all of that memory came to fall
I had never went to Disney land
Never been on a vacation, that was the plan
Stayed home every summer
To poor to do anything other
Mommy would not work
Getting drunk, I would hurt
She blamed it on daddy everyday
After school I would go out and play
I had no idea she was self medicated
Thinking of it now, I surely hate it
Daddy we used to be so close
Reading me books at night, warm roast
By the fake fireplace you used to have
Now all I have left of you is the memories we shared
As now your leaving, have to pretend you were never there
I numb this pain everyday ✝
Big sister she left us years ago
Daddy forced her to go go go
Before we moved in this small hell hole
He made her walk out the door
Moved in with her forever love
I never really missed her, feelings didn't shove
We were never really that close
She honestly liked my brother the most
Me and her it's kind of awkward
Don't know what to say, she sees the doctor
Very often, she became unhealthy
Lost so much weight but never wealthy
Health fanatic , to traumatic
Going to the gym, tearing every limb
Sister you can't keep doing this
The pain you go through, is not a diss
You need to be careful, I solemnly swear
You really do need to be aware
Now to my brother, from the same ole mother
We are not like one another
Every day for years now
He would call me a fat cow
Trying so hard to not curse each other out
Constantly all we do is scream and shout
Mom would begin to cry
She still always asks us why
I remember she would always tell me to kill myself
Hearing that from my own mother
then me Getting bullied by my brother
But then my other sister two years older
Our relationship would keep getting colder
She did bad things I followed her path
I fell into a rebellious rath
We used to be so close, best friends
But happy times always Come to an end
Now she's in an abusive relationship
He once punched her in the lip
Shot her stomach , I ran to her
I knew exactly where you were
Gloria sister please don't go
I cried to mother, soon let her know
Blood going down her stomach I cried for hours
In my mind wanting to jump off towers
Gloria and I are two alike
Same disease but different hike
She goes left and I go right
Sometime we get into horrible fights
As of now we are trying to escape
This house, all of us like a snake
I don't want mama to be alone
But she keeps dragging us down, hang up the phone
She won't take care of us, she's been selfish since that first birth rush
Now let's go on to me. First start off with who I want to be
An amazing girl
Give me a twirl
Want to be loved
Relationship like doves
On to my knees pleading please no more
I want to kick pain right out the door
I love to laugh, dance and sing
But when I'm alone my ears just ring
I'm a good girl I swear
But the devil shoved me into this dare...
