Somewhere Only We Know

4:Somewhere Only We Know

It felt like someone has taken away all of my oxygen as I walked into the hall of my house. There was still a huge mirror on the left hand wall, still a small table opposite it, still wooden flooring, still a chandelier hanging elegantly from the ceiling. Nothing had changed, yet, something was different. There wasn’t a loud laugh coming from upstairs, there wasn’t music blasting from his old speakers, there wasn’t his presence. It felt like it had done when he left to go to university except we all knew that he wouldn’t return for Christmas and New Year and Easter and Mum’s birthday and Dad’s birthday and summer holidays and Matty and I’s birthday. We all knew we wouldn’t see his boyish grin again except in the photos. We all knew it was because of me.

 I trudged upstairs, ignoring my parent’s protests. I just needed to be with my brother. Taking in a deep breath, I knocked on his door, he would only allow me in if I knocked, and quietly opened the creaking door. Will’s voice echoed around my head as I remember the time when he said he would oil it. I flinched at the memory, as I commemorated the happy times of my past. I looked around his room again. His desk was still covered with old papers that he still hadn’t tidied away from last year’s last minute revision.  His chair was covered in his clothes, his attempt of unpacking. His bed was the only thing that was neat in his room. I shuffled over to it and sat down on the soft mattress. I recall of my sleepless nights when I was younger.

 I often woke up screaming from horrible nightmares to find myself in Will’s arms. He would scoop me up and carry me to his bed while stroking my long hair. He would sit down and pull me onto his lap, rocking me like a baby while whispering encouraging words into my ear. Often, I would fall asleep in his arms and when I woke up; I would find myself lying alone in my bed, neatly tucked up into the covers.

I lifted up my legs and pulled them to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my knees and gently rocked forward and back. I felt something wet splash onto my knee and I realised I was crying. Closing my eyes, I continued to rock on his bed, remembering all of the wonderful memories I shared with him. What must have been an hour or so later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up slowly to see Matt looking down at me kindly. He offered a small smile which I returned with a sad one. He put his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder, staining his chequered shirt with my tears. He rubbed my back assuring, trying to comfort me. He couldn’t compare to Will. He could make me feel happier in seconds. Thinking about him more made my tears come more freely. After a while, Matt excused himself to go downstairs. When he left, I gradually stood up from his bed. I heard something fall on the floor and immediately glanced down. It was a small piece of paper, neatly folded. I picked it up with trembling hands. I carefully unfolded it but I didn’t recognise the tidy writing.

Dear my little Thorn,

When you read this, I have passed away. I’m in heaven now, and it is brilliant and free. I know I am dead and you miss me, but be brave and strong. Look under the chest of drawers in my room. You need to understand what it says. Remember that I love you and our family. I don’t want you to cry when you remember the old days; instead I want you to smile. Just promise me this. Understand what I mean by hold on but don’t be afraid to let go.

Love, Will (aka the nurse writing this =D) xxx

Will never believed in Heaven, neither did I. But now I do. I believe with all my heart that heaven is real and Will is up there with Grandpa and our dog, Guinness. I miss Guinness. She was a cavalier King Charles spaniel and I loved her dearly. I cried the most when she died, with Will and Matt comforting me as we buried her. I always hated dead animals. Even animals I don’t like, such as rats and snakes and big spiders, I can’t stand to see someone kill them. It tears my heart out when I see a helpless animal die. When Will was dying, he looked just like a helpless puppy.

 I shook my head slightly in an attempt to rid myself of those memories. Walking over to his chest of drawers, I did as he said to and sat on floor. Lying down on the floor, I pushed myself under the wooden chest of drawers. There, under the bottom drawer, was another neatly folded piece of paper, taped to the bottom of it. Sliding my finger under the gap between it and the wood, I managed to prize it off. I slid back from under the chest of drawers and into a sitting position, before leaning back on the hard wood and opening the paper. On it was Will’s messy handwriting.

Thing to do before I die:

1.       Drive a Porsche into the sunset

2.       Get into trouble with the police

3.       Dive off a huge cliff

4.       Kiss a guy

5.       Watch movies for a whole weekend

6.       Run a marathon

7.       Organise a charity event for the RSPCA

8.       Meet Larry Achike

9.       Destroy a building

10.   Fall in love  Have an eating contest

I smiled as I read number 4 and 8. That was typical him. But what confused me the most was number 10. He had written, ‘Fall in love’ and then crossed it out. Why? Knowing him, he probably thought it was stupid and childish. Will didn’t believe in those sorts of feelings. When I was heartbroken for the first time, Will put his strong arms around me and told me ‘Love is just a word, but words have emotions’. I remember being confused by him until I realised that it was true. It is one of the things I have always remembered and always will.  As I glanced back down at the paper I held in my hand, I was confused as to why Will wanted me to read this. Then I understood. 

OMG... LOL

OK so i am uploading early, for once, because I suddenly got some inspiration... YAY

B.T.W i did not steal this idea of having ten things to do before I die from  ‘Late Summer Rain’. I have had this planned way before I read that book. B.T.W ‘late summer rain’ is a great book. As well as ‘My Dangerous Friend’ look at these books now... along with  ‘ The Lady School ‘ and it’s sequel ‘a lady’s duty’ along with ‘love, hatred and flowers’ ... They are all good...   =) 

So... what do u think of this book eh? I think it is much better that ‘Love isn’t true’ and ‘Love isn’t Easy ‘ ... The sad bit is basically over but... DUN...DUN...BADUN... I can’t continue tht sentence ‘cause it would ruin the surprise =0...

READ. LIKE. COMMENT. VOTE. TELL

=D

xx