After the party I was confused
I was still slightly drugged and drunk
I walked home
I stumbled into my brothers bathroom
I stared at myself in the mirror
I couldn't stand looking at myself
I felt disgusting
I didn't want to be myself
I didn't want to be in my own body
I grabbed some scissors
I started to cut my hair
The long strands falling to the ground amused me
I did it until my hair was cropped short
I looked at the pack of razors sitting on the sink
I picked one of them up
I ran my fingers across it
Blood ran down my hand
I looked back into the mirror
My hair was all different lengths
I looked sick
I was pale
There were bags under my eyes
I looked back down at the razor
I closed my eyes and sighed
Then I ran it across my wrists and then sat down on the floor
The floor was a big mess of hair and blood
I stared at the blood running all over my arms and then onto the white tile I was sitting on
I heard somebody's footsteps coming down the hallway
My stomach did flips hoping that nobody would come in and find me
I heard the sound of the doorknob turning
I looked up and saw the face of my brother
A face of horror
He ran over to me
He started shaking my shoulders
He began to yell
Trying to get my attention
I saw a tear slip down his face
I've never seen my brother cry
And then I blacked out
