My life

Words

   Wake up, get dressed, go to school and take the fake smile with you. The second I walk out the door put on my smile for the world to see but they don't know the truth. I wish I could someone but each time I try there is a part of me who says they won't understand. Then In one of my classses I saw a mark on a girls wrist actually a lot of marks on her wrist. Then I stared at them but then she put a jacket on purposely so I couldn't see them. I then said "why do u cut" she didn't respond and at the end of class she walked over to me and said "it helps deal with the pain" then walked away. I didn't understand why people cut themselves how would cutting help deal with the pain. The curiosity was killing me so when I got home I grabbed a knife and went to the bathroom. I tried to cut misled buy for some reason it wasn't cutting I saw no blood I realized I didn't want to self harm because if I started to then I wouldn't be able to stop. Then when my mom got home she started yelling at me to get out the house more often and not be stuck up in my room. So I went for a walk then I saw this guy lying by a tree not moving I ran over to him and kept yelling sir sir are you okay then he grabbed me and pulled me close and said " life was to hard for me" and then he passed out. I grabbed my phone and called 911 buy it was too late he was dead. I cried and kept saying "life was to hard for him" over and over to the cops. Then the police took me to a room to talk to me and I don't say anything but then they knew I didn't know anything and let me go. The next day I went to school and this one guy runs up to me and spills his drink all over me and he pushed me to the floor and walked away I didn't understand why he hates me so then I walked to the bathroom to clean myself up and one girls walks in and said murderer and then walked out then I understood. But that was just the beginning for me....