we lost
we lost the love
"madds stop" Cal scream "stop talking this nonsense we lost nothing. The love is still here. Don't you hear me Madds I still love you. I've always loved you" I just shake my head "Cal you don't get it. Your gone for months at a time while I sit here and wait. Its torture for me. You wont call me for weeks at a time I never know what place you'll be in next. I bet you miss me too but its different for you. you don't feel the loneliness that I get you don't hear the silence that screams. Cal you don't get it. Its breaking me" I start crying "Cal I never told you this before but I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here in this world. I've had enough. I've had enough of the waiting and the lonely night. And when the silent and lonely night do come, well their the worse they scream at me 'stop pretending' 'stop telling your self he'll come back and that he still loves you' 'just end it all, just die' but no Cal I don't listen to those voices because I believe that you'll always be there for me, but those are the times that I need you the most but your nowhere to be seen. So I'm done Cal" I look in to his eyes just in time to see tear fall off his face "but Madds you don't know what it like on tour for me. When the guys go clubbing I stay behind to blast music and cry, I'm scared 24/7 thinking that you found someone else. Someone who would be there for you. And your right I don't get the "lonely" night or the "silent" ones either. But sometimes when I'm in a room full of people I feel empty, I feel like there's no one there and the voice get louder, they get so loud to a point where I feel numb. But I love the numbness cause then nothing feels real. The silent ones are the worse though. When the music is blasting on the bus or hotel and everyone is jamming out, it disappears, in a second it went from a room with blasting music to nothing. The the music stops everything stops to." I look up at Madds to see her looking back with mascara all over her face "I transport to a pitch black empty room and I'm staring at the wall trying to figure my life out but all that does is make my head hurt. I escape when one of the guys would tape me or something. So Madds you can't say were done because I've been through hell to." I take her hand and look into her eyes "we'll get through this Madds it will all work out" but then madds tears her hands away "no.no Cal we wont work this out. I don't care if you been through hell to. A relationship shouldn't be like this. I can't. I can't be. Cause I love you so much its hurting me literally. I can't live like this anymore Cal I just can't. I'm sorry" Madds say and walks out the door. Cal brakes down. He falls to the floor crying and has his face in his hands
we had the love
we had
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ UNEDITED sorry for any mistakes hope you enjoy and sorry if its bad and doesn't make sense.
