Natalie's Diary

[06] Suspicion

SUSPICION

"Have you seen Rhys today?" Kate dropped across from me at the picnic table. I sat in the same place as long as the weather wasn't frigid, I just didn't expect Kate would know where to find me.

"We don't have any classes together in the morning." I shook my head, willing myself to eat my leftover pizza.

"Hmmm. You look awful," she said. I blinked at her. She didn't. She looked like everyday Kate Haumann, but the closer I looked, the more I noticed her make up made up for all the signs that she'd been awake until two in the morning. Blush faked the rosiness, a messy bun disguised unwashed hair. How did she make tired look passable? 

"Thank you," I replied, putting on a tired smile for her. My morning involved staying in bed as long as possible because it was hard to get enough sleep. I was still awake and in Natalie's house past midnight and on top of that, checked the bathroom faucets for leaks twice in the short span of time between falling into bed and my alarm going off. Sleep deprivation left me bleary-eyed and squinting, only perpetuating Asian stereotypes.

"Can I fix your hair?" Kate asked, but she didn't wait for permission before she stood up and circled around, tugging my ponytail out.

"I guess..." I mumbled, officially giving up the pizza.

"What you read... was there anything else?" Kate asked, tugging at different strands of my hair, "was there anything about why... us?"

Her voice barely rose above a whisper. On the other hand, she didn't sound as hesitant as she did in the basement. Wide open space and overhead lighting helped soothe her soul. If I had any answers for her, I'd let her in on them. If I had any idea what was going on, my idea of fun wouldn't be stringing  along three other kids from school. 

"I know as much as you do," I replied.

For a moment, the tugging stopped. There was none of the tension of her hands twisting my hair into shape.

"Right. Okay." she finished, but she didn't sit down. Instead she paced around the table. "It's me after Rhys then. So, none of us will know the full story? Is that what this is?" She didn't stop moving and I wasn't altogether sure she was asking me or if she was talking to herself out loud.

She was right, wasn't she? The diary divided up by names meant different people would have different information. There wasn't anything stopping Rhys from reading the whole thing in a sitting, though. We had to rely on an honor system, no way to check that everyone did as instructed. What would happen if we didn't follow Natalie's sticky note suggestions?

"I guess not..." I said. 

What was that thing I was never supposed to do? Trust anyone in Cullfield?

Before Kate could pose another unanswerable question, her eyes perked up, letting go of the new braid in my hair. 

"Amber, hey! Did you see Cam today?"

Kate, as a different person, strutted away back into the school like nothing was wrong, like nothing happened.

˚˚˚˚˚˚

I saw Rhys one in class and it was as he stumbled in a minute or two after the bell, dropping into the chair closest to the door.

After the final bell, I waited by his rusted Nissan Datsun truck, backpack hanging off my shoulders. 

Why? Stalking him wouldn't get me information any sooner. I supposed that was what Kate tried to do at lunch, but I failed to teach her anything new. Maybe that wasn't why I was there at all, but for some other reason I couldn't put my finger on.