So, two best friends made a deal that if one of them painted a pretty picture, the other would paint one twice the size.
I made that deal with my best friend a while ago. I told her that when she cut herself, i would dig out my razor, and cut myself double the amount she did. I guess I thought that it would help her to stop cutting because eveery cut she did, she was damaging her friend even more.
It didn't work.
She's still cutting and I haven't held my end of the bargain for a while now. I've recovered from this mental breakdown and im still self harming though but not cutting. Now I burn myself with hot water in the shower, hit myself numb and punch walls.
In a way, I wish I never made the deal because now in the back of my mind every day I think "oh crap, I'm going to have to slice into my own skin, not because I'm trying to kill the demon inside or I'm really angry and shit, but, because I made a deal, a bloody deal"
I love the girl, I really do. She's my everything. My sister from another mother. She's my life and if she died, I wouldn't want to grow up a single day without her.
