I heard the front door open and parker ran right up to his room. Anna and jessi came in, tears in their eyes. "What's wrong babies?" I asked. I walked over to them. "Porkie is dead." Jessi cried. Porkie was 10 years old. Along with parker. The girls are 8. Porkie was parkers best friend. I pulled the girls into a hug just as Chandler came down. "What's wrong girls?" He asked. Anna ran over to Chandler and he picked her up. Jessi pulled back and ran to Chandler. He held them while they cried and I walked over to the stairs. I walked up the stairs and to parkers room. I knocked lightly. "Go away." He cried. I opened the door. "Honey." I said, staring at him crying into his pillow. I shut the door and quietly walked over. I sat down next to him and he crawled into my lap. I laid down and let him cry himself to sleep, cuddled into me. I kept runnung my fingers through his hair even after he fell asleep. Chandler quietly opened the door and looked at me. I had tears falling down my cheeks. I had bought that pig for parker, but I had also grown attached to it. As I laid there, chandler walked over and sat down on the bed next to me. He leaned down and wiped my tears while kissing my cheek. "Its okay baby. She's in a better place." He said softly. I nodded and kissed parkers head. I got out of the bed and walked out of his room. "Where are the girls?" I asked. "Sleeping in their room." He said. "Did you change them?" I asked. "No. They fell asleep before I could open their door." He said. I nodded and walked over to their room. I opened the door and saw jessi sitting up in bed, breathing heavily. "Jessi? What's wrong baby?" I asked as I walked over. Anna was crying in her bed so chandler walked to her. "I had a nightmare that parker killed daddy." She cried. "Where's daddy?" She panicked. "I'm right here baby girl. I'm okay." Chandler said, as anna cried in his chest. Jessi latched onto me and cried. "Don't leave mommy." She cried. I looked at chandler. This happened to parker when he was six. "Why would you think I'm leaving baby?" I asked. "Because I saw on the computer that you were looking for tickets to California." She cried. I chuckled slightly. "Baby that was a family trip to see uncle Joshy. We are leaving next week." I said. "Oh. Does he have presents?" She asked. "He always has presents for you girls and parker." I said. "Yay!" She smiled. "There's that beautiful smile." I smiled. "Anna smile! We get presents next week!" Jessi smiled as she got out of her bed. She got in Anna's and sat on her. Jessi started kissing Anna's face and wouldn't stop until anna was giggling like a maniac. That's how me and my sister were when we were little. Nanny always used to tell us that nobody would ever separate us. But she got taken from us two years ago. She's up there with nanny. I looked up at the ceiling as Chandler tickled the girls. "I miss you guys. I hope to see you again. I love you." I said softly, tears swarming in my eyes. I held onto the necklace amber got me and smiled. I looked back at the girls and saw them laughing. Chandler looked up at me as a tear fell. He saw I was holding the necklace and smiled sadly at me. I nodded. "Mommy's gonna go to bed babies. I'm not feeling well." I said as another tear fell. "Don't cry mommy. Auntie amber is in a better place." Jessi said. I nodded. "It still hurts that she's gone." I said. "She's playing with porkie mommy." Anna said. "And nanny." Chandler said. "And Jackson." Parker said, from the door. Jackson was ambers baby boy. Amber died giving birth to him. She died after they got him out, he died two days later. Makayla said it was because he couldn't breathe. She was sleeping and he was in the crib, she said he just stopped breathing. Parker walked in the room and over to me. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I'll always be here mama. You don't have to worry about me leaving." He told me. I smiled. "I know baby. I love you." I said then kissed his head. "I love you too mama." He said. "Mommy! We love you!" The girls shouted at the same time. "I love my girls too." I smiled. They both jumped on me and I fell on Jessi's bed. They laid on top of me and I giggled along with them. "Alright kids. Me and mama are going to bed. We love you." Chandler said. "Mama I have a question." Parker said. "What is it baby?" I asked. "Come with me." He said, grabbing my hand and dragging me to his room. We sat on his bed and he looked at me seriously. "Can you give me a brother?" He asked. "I could try. But why do you want a brother now? Every time the baby subject comes up, you leave the room." I said. "Because you always deny it. And I don't wanna hear about how you won't give me a brother." He said. "Honey, I can't for sure give you a brother. It could turn out to be another sister." I said. "My friend Kyle said his parents adopted him a brother. Cause he has four sisters." He said. "You want me to adopt you a brother?" I asked. He nodded. "Older, younger or baby?" I asked. "Older." He smiled. "Same generation. Maybe 11? 12?" He asked. "I'll talk to chandler. We'll see about that request." I smiled. "Thanks mom." He smiled. "No problem baby." I kissed his head then walked out. I went to my room and saw chandler laying in bed. "I have to tell you something." I said as I climbed in. "What's that?" He asked, tiredly. "Parker wants an older brother." I said. "How are we gonna do that?" He asked as he turned to face me. "He wants us to adopt him an older brother." I said. "11 or 12 years old." I added. "We will go look around tomorrow." He smiled. I smiled back. "Thank you baby." I smiled. "Anything for you and the kids." He smiled. He kissed me softly then we fell asleep.
