Today is my friend Victoria's b-day. I am happy I don't have to deal with my stepdad for a week. Just kidding I have to deal with him tomorrow. Today is the day I actually thought about my grandpa in a couple of months. I feel like I will cry but I am trying to stay strong for my family. It is very hard to stay strong. It feels like a stake through the heart to remember my grandpa. It is burning like hell I just need to get in to a place I can keep myself under controls so I don't go crazy. I think one wrong move will get me hurt like if I get a boyfriend it mite hurt and bring back the memories I had with my grandpa. It is hard to live with all of this misery of my grandpa's death. When he died it feels like a part of me has died with him and my anger and sadness has grown to be uncontrollable. I don't feel like myself anymore I feel like a part of me has died and the part that nobody would like to find or see. But a new part of me said that I have told my self I would run away or worse kill my self. If my grandpa was alive I would not thought of it but now I have and if my grandpa was here I would be the old me the happier me the one my grandpa knows and loves. I wouldn't hate my self. I be happy to come home from school. I would be whole again. Having to deal with my stepdad and then my grandpa's death it is really hard. My grandpa was a good man he loved me he only said no once to me and never said it again. I love him with all of my heart.
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My life is bad
AdventureMy life has been going up and down. I think that if I get every thing of my shoulders I will feel happier then I was befor
