Sometimes I wonder about my place in the Jedi Order. The more I think about all the rules to follow and the time devoted to meditation and training, the more I question the logic of so much sacrifice. After all, sacrifices can be considered frivolous. Is it so wrong that I care for Padme as much as I do? Or that I still miss my mother and worry about her?
For the first time since I became a Jedi, I've found myself seriously considering giving up my lightsaber, leaving the order, and becoming an ordinary citizen of the galaxy. Divorcing the Force. OK, why am I rhyming so often? In both of my diaries? I'm so fed up with it. I don't know why, I just...am.
Anyway, I'm starting to imagine myself in a different career. I'm pretty confident that I could find work as a pilot or mechanic. But would doing that work make me happy? It's obvious: the only thing that can make me happy is to hang out with Padme. But--but what if I left the Order and she still didn't see a chance of a future with me? What then?
It's just too overwhelming to contemplate.
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Anakin Skywalker And The I-Became-A-Jedi
FanfictionAnakin Skywalker's perspective of "Attack Of The Clones." Book 2 of the Anakin Skywalker series. Mostly played for laughs. Enjoy!
