Jerrie (Oneshots)

Depression (Pt. II)

a/n: song is black beauty by lana del rey and goodbye kiss by kasabian but lana's cover.

picture of perrie on the side, of how I picture her for this chapter.

p.s. im aware that perrie's audition isnt that song, but this is fiction so...yeah, things aren't going to be exactly accurate
warning! this chapter includes the topic of depression, if you aren't comfortable with that, please skip.

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Summary: in where Jade's death takes a toll on Perrie.

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Dear Perrie,

I'm so sorry.

I know you said that I should hold on and stay strong as much as I could, but...I just couldn't this time. I'm truly sorry for breaking my promise to you and for leaving you as well. Just know that I'm happy and I've found peace. But please, please for my last wish, don't kill yourself just because I'm gone.

Pez, you have so much to look forward to in your life. I want you to continue living to the fullest and do everything that I will never be able to do anymore.

The only regret I have is that I wouldn't be able to experience every single thing with you. I won't be there when you graduate, when you get to audition for X Factor, because I remember you telling me that you wanted to but was too scared to, when you wake up, and when you go out and travel the world someday like you've always dreamed of.

Please, please understand why I did this. You are so full of light and life, you made me feel as though I had no darkness in me, but when you're not here, I lose that feeling of being safe and secured. But that doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up just because you weren't here to save me. Maybe this really meant to happen.

Know that I love you, and I always will. You're always going to be mine, Pez, and I'm always going to belong to you.

Yours forever,
Jade.

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2 years later

Perrie Edwards, a name that you'd often hear nowadays. Famous singer/songwriter, model and actress, basically Hollywood's Princess. It all started really, when Perrie finally got out of her shell of grieving of Jade's death, where she pretty much stayed in her room, crying and feeling miserable. She auditioned with a song she wrote after you-know-what.

Perrie blinked from her spot as her name was called out from back stage, "Perrie Edwards, you're up."

This was it, she thought, Jadey, this is for you.

The judges asked her a couple of questions like where she lived and her age and whatnot til they asked if she was single.

"So, Perrie, are you currently in a relationship?"

She gulped, feeling suddenly faint but answered quietly, "No."

Afterwards she was told to sing, and she did.

"Doomed from the start, we met with a goodbye kiss, I broke my wrist..."

By the end, she was about to cry. She remembered being so nervous and anxious for the judges to start telling her she sucked when they all said she was amazing and felt so much emotion, etc.

Now here she was, in the limelight and causing so much trouble. Perrie sighed as she saw another tabloid with her name in bold letters, staring right at her in the face, PERRIE EDWARDS SIGHTED WITH MYSTERIOUS GIRL.

"Perrie!"

She flinched from her seat and looked up to see her manager in front of her with a dont-mess-with-me face.

"The show starts in 5." Then he left.

Great, she thought, as she ran her hand through her now dark hair.

"Alright, everyone, since I am promoting my new album that is about to be out in three weeks-" Everyone starts cheering, "-aww, thanks. Anyways, I've decided to sing you a song from the album. I know I'm not supposed to be doing this,"

She whispered the next part into the mic, "My manager's gonna be so mad but whatever." Everyone chuckled at that before letting her continue.

"So...that's that. This song's very dear and close to me, I wrote it a year ago but I decided not to include it in the first album, but now, I think I'm ready to share it with you guys."

Then, the piano started playing.

"Yeah, um...this song's called Black Beauty."

"I paint my nails black, I dye my hair a darker shade of brown, 'cause you like your women Spanish, dark, strong and proud.
I paint the sky black, you said if you could have your way, you'd make a night time all today, so it'd suit the mood of your soul."

Perrie closed her eyes as she remembered her doe-eyed, brunette girlfriend 2 years from now, how beautiful and dark her Jade was, but was also filled with light. The problem was, she was the only one who saw that light.

"Oh, what can I do? Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue.
Sun and ocean blue, their magnificence, it don't make sense to you."

Emotions she tried so hard to forget came crashing back like a wave, completely inevitable.

"You have no room for light, love is lost on you. I keep my lips red, to seem like cherries in the spring.
Darling, you can't let everything seem so dark blue."

"Black beauty, oh oh oh, black beauty, oh oh oh."

"Thank you!" She yelled out as she wiped a couple of tears off her cheeks, then proceeded to the backstage, finding the bathroom, before crying out her remaining emotions from the song.

Silly Pez, she almost hears Jade say that to her, then Jade would smile at her and ruffle her hair.

"Get yourself together Perrie", She said to herself. Unable to resist and move on, she pulls out her most treasured possession, Jade's letter to her from her pocket and read it all over again, just so she could pretend Jade was here, even for a moment.

Dear Perrie...