Say my Name

P r o l o g u e

AS SHE SPOKE, her calm voice echoed around the hall. I relaxed my shoulders, but instead earned a pulse of pain from the bad one. A purple, angry bruise was starting to form, and I tried to contain a hiss. She glanced at me for a moment, noticing my discomfort, but then quickly looked away. As if staring at me for a while would change her mind completely, and that was what I was hoping. 

I didn’t care about not being the Savior anymore. I just didn’t want her to be.

Once she finished her piece, she looked at each of the Quarternaries, waiting for their verdict. One by one, each of them nodded. My eyes widened. “No,” I muttered, and quickly turned to her.

Tallulah Sophronia- pronounced “TAH-LU-LAH SO-FRON-EE-AH” as she would always tell me- looked a little more scared then she was letting on. Her seemingly obsidian eyes, which I knew to actually be a deep, chocolate brown, were slowly starting to brim with tears. Her black hair was left tangled on the side of her face where I was facing.  “Ashton,” she muttered quickly, under her breath so the Quaternaries wouldn’t hear. “I don’t want to leave. You know that.”

“So don’t,” I answered, squeezing her hand.

“But this is my purpose. You know that, deep down.”

Tallulah’s gaze focused on behind her, to where Anthony was leaning on the threshold. He looked far better than me, even though we were twins. I could tell he was trying hard not to object. I flexed my shoulders again, only to be greeted by a new, fresh wave of pain.

 “Ashton.” Tallulah’s voice brought me back to reality. I looked at her, into the pretty brown eyes I loved so much. She looked so much like when I had first met her: delicate, confused. I sighed vaguely, and at last, she spoke again. “Could you just…tell me you hate me? So it’s easier.”

I narrowed my eyebrows. “I would never, ever, be able to do that. You know-“

“But so it’s easier,” she pleaded, but I shook my head. “Why?” Her voice was suddenly annoyed, scathing. I tried hard not to smirk, but she was making it hard. When she noticed me smiling, she crossed her arms. “Damn it, Ashton!”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not saying that because I always promised to tell the truth. It’s a vow. I’m not breaking it on something as stupid as telling you I hate you, mostly because it’s so far away from the truth that it’s aghast.”

Tallulah looked at me, her eyes wide.  

“Aghast,” I defined. “Disgusting, repulsing-“

“I know what aghast means, Ashton!” Tallulah scowled. “I’m talking about…what I mean is…” She trailed off, her scowl deepening. At last, she muttered. “What’s the truth, then? What…what’s the thing…? Oh, fudge. Forget it.”

I tried for a smile. “You still say fudge? Isn’t that, like, a mortal-Kindergartener thing?”

“I guess there’s still a little mortal in me.”

The joke hit me the wrong way, and again, Tallulah seemed to notice. She sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just…I don’t know.” She noticed me smiling again, and she rolled her eyes. She looked at me for a little, as if trying to drink in the fact that I was still here for her. That I still wanted to believe there was hope.

“I don’t want to leave you,” I muttered at last, looking away.

“Why?” she asked, but she knew the answer. She knew how hard it was for me to talk about my feelings for her, and about everything else. “Why?” she asked again when I didn’t reply.