How It Started

                                                                                                               Chapter ~ 1

Sometimes I feel like I need to start all over again, like I need to redo some parts of my life. Before I go to sleep every night, I ask myself Questions and I ask myself a lot of ‘What if’s?’ But then when I am depressing myself after that, I remind myself of who I am and that there is no reason to change me or my past because everything happens for a reason. So I practically have instructions that I always follow, but usually instructions are demanded to do… But I just do it for the sake of my liking.

I am turning 13 this year. I am going to experience my first day of High School in three days. I might as well enjoy the last bit of freedom I have before I go to a Place that might feel either Joyful or Harsh. I always make plans for myself for the next day, but end up never doing them. Its 10:15 PM, 15 minutes earlier than the usual time I usually start thinking a lot and asking a lot of questions as if I’m suspicious about myself. What if I will change when I go to High school? And What if something bad happens to me? Will anything even be sure of in high school? Huh… looks like the average just always comes to me. Just Doubts, Problems and More doubts. I wonder if there would be one night that I wouldn’t think of a question that is similar to all the other 974 questions I’ve asked myself through the years. A question or a ‘What if’ that isn’t a doubt, just a question to make you feel like that the impossible could be possible.

It’s now 10:30; I’ve been just lying here, staring into space for 15 minutes. Being bored, depressed and quiet. I’m going to go to sleep in 5 minutes... I’m feeling a bit tired after everything… ‘Good night’ I whisper to myself as I walk towards the light to switch it off. As I’m walking back towards my bed in the darkness, I decide to ask myself one final question, ‘Will anything in High School be a surprise to me?'.

My eyes settle into the sun light as I wake up. It’s blinding me with its glance of shine on the edge of my eyes. I blink quickly twice, hoping that whatever is making my eyes in pain will fade away. As I get my eye vision clear, I start to walk towards the door and twist the handle far enough so it would just click open. As I’m walking down the hall way, I remember everything I went over last night, of everything that I worried about… Well, since I only have 2 days till I start high school, I might as well enjoy it. I think in my head of about 16 things to do, most of them are things that every normal person would do, the rest are what I do. I choose to have a bath; I love to feel fresh and awake. First things first, run the bath! I turn the cold tap about a quarter ways, and then I turn the hot tap half way. I love to have a warm bath instead of a cold bath by far. As the bath is slowly filling up, I go to the laundry and find a towel. I find one but then think I need to find some clothes as well while I’m at it, I end up finding one of my tops with my name on it. I stared at it for about 20 seconds reading ‘Renee Hayne Jones’, Thinking that my name is pretty unique!

So far, my bath is half way done. I remember that I need to wash my hair with a good brand shampoo and Conditioner. So I go through the bathroom cupboards and fine a Shampoo named ‘Wings’, It looked alright so I decided to use it… But I still have to find a Conditioner! I go through the side cupboards and end up finding a bottle but this is a different name to the shampoo, it’s called ‘Mytre'’ , this looked like a good brand as well so I might as well use this as well! Even though there different brands, it won’t hurt! The bath is fully filled so I turn off both taps and hop in; it is not hot but not cold. IT’S PERFECT! As I’m relaxing in the warm water I start to get goose bumps, this is the most relaxed I have ever felt in a while…