Secretly Suicidal [ON HOLD]

2.Amber

I got 'home', and went up to my room. I say 'home', cuz I live here at the orphanage, but it's not my home. My home is my mum, and she's gone.

I put in my earbuds, played Panic! At the Disco, and blasted Emperor's New Clothes. My playlist continues, and I just draw in my notebook, random art, that I hide from the world, until my playlist ends.

They call me to dinner a while later, but I pretend I'm asleep. So, no dinner for me, yay. I don't know if that was sarcastic or not. I don't know anything anymore. Eventually, I fall asleep.

I wake up to go to hell, referred to as school by those who do not attend it. I take a shower, and feel the burn of the water spraying on my scars. Everyone always comments on how they hiss in pain as the water hits their scars, but I honestly enjoy the pain. Heh, whatever.

After I step into my first period class, Art, and sit in the back corner next to Chrissy. "Bird-Flopping-Feathers-Floopa-Loopa!"she exclaimed. "Watermelon,"I responded. What? There isn't much you could answer to that, and it's me we're talking about.

School drags on, until lunch were I sit down next to Chris. "Bird-Flopping-Feathers-Floopa-Loopa!"I said the second I sat down. "How did you remember that,"she asked. "It's the only thing I remember in school today." I answered. I have a very sucky memory.

Amber walks up, and says "oh look, it's the stupid little girl". I roll my eyes, annoyed with her constant stupid insults, that I know are true. "Aw, what's wrong. Why aren't you smiling you little annoying ass-hole", she said starting with a baby voice, and finishing in nearly screaming. "Because I have enough sense to know when someone is insulting you, unlike you, who considers 'an easy fling', a compliment,"I respond. A chorus of "oo's" fill the room, at my comeback.

I walk off, not wanting to start a fight. "That all you got bitch?" She shouted back at me. I turned around. I didn't want a fight, but I gotta make a comeback. "What exactly did you mean by that? Did you mean beautiful, incredible, talented, creative, humble. Cuz that's what bitch spells, or did you mean bitch as in, bitch is a female dog, a female dog barks, bark is a part of a tree, trees are a part of nature, so thanks for calling me beautiful." I responded, leaving her speechless. "Oh, and one more thing, why don't you be like Mario, and get a life?" I finished, walking away in triumph.

The rest of school dragged on, and I went to the park with Chris. We reached the top of the hill, and I started climbing the large oak tree. I climbed as high as I could, and leaned against the trunk, laying on the branch. I looked out towards the sky, and forgot about everything. I just started singing Dollhouse forgetting Chris was most likely listening.

"Hey girl,
Open your walls
Play with your dolls
We'll be a perfect family
When you walk away
Is when we really play
You don't hear me when I say
Mum, please wake up
Dad's with a slut
And your son is smoking cannabis
No one ever listens
This wallpaper glistens
Don't let them see what's goes down in the kitchen

Places, places, get in your places
Thrown on your dress and put on your doll faces
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains
Picture, picture, smile for the picture
Pose with your brother, won't you be a good sister?
Everyone thinks that we're perfect
Please don't let them look through the curtains
D O L L H O U S E
I see things nobody else sees
D O L L H O-" I was interrupted by Chrissy calling my name. "Hey Liz, is that Melanie Martinez?" She questioned.

"Maybe"

"Well, I'm going home, see ya on the bus tommorrow,"she said as she walked away, waving to me. I waved and said bye, getting comfier. I wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. In fact, I'm waiting for night time, so I can draw the stars.

I just started sketching, not really paying any attention, as I was just thinking. Everyone thinks that we're perfect. Yep. Everyone thinks that I'm perfect, and happy, and energetic, but I'm not. My fake smile is more convincing than my real one now. That's how much I've perfected it.

I just started into the night sky, at peace for once.

Eventually I walked home, and went to sleep.

I got up, and put on my floral skirt, white tank top, and grey cardigan. I walked outside, and walked the long trek to the bus stop. When I say long trek, I mean long trek. It's one mile. The bus actually stops at the orphanage, but no one knows I'm an orphan, and I'd like to keep it that way.

I sit on the bus, and wait for Chris, to get on, when Amber walks up. "Hey bitch, aw look you're all alone, not surprised, I bet even your parents regret having you, you're such a mistake," she said. The bus was in the school parking lot, and was about to park, when something inside of me snapped. "You act like you know me so well. Well you don't, cuz if you did you would know my parents are dead," I said. Everyone was looking at me in shock, and I just walked off the bus, past all the shocked looks. But one look I will never forget. It was the look on Chris's face, who was being pulled back by one of Amber's minions.

No one said a word to me that day, and I could tell everyone now knew that I was an orphan, and I didn't care anymore. School was over, and when I went to the park, I saw Chris already waiting there. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, a tear sliding down her face. "You wouldn't understand," I said, a few tears sliding down mine as well. "You used to tell me everything, we knew each other so well," she whispered, still crying. "There's a lot of things you don't know about me," I said quietly, walking away before she could say anything. But as I walked away I heard her say quietly "I know, but I'll wait." And I knew what she meant.

She meant she would wait for me to tell her. Because I would. She was the only person I trusted.

Well, a lot of stuff went down. Lizzy over here, is starting to reveal a little bit to other people. How did ya like its. Also, wow, thus has been a long chapter. Over 1000 words.

Bye french fries.