Who Is She?

new place, same feelings

yes, go ahead ,call me one of those kids that feel lifeless after the death of a loved one. I don't really wanna feel anything because if I feel it then I feel her. Never mind, let me just start from the beginning. when I lived Arizona,when I was just 8, my sister died because of a lung collapse..she didn't make it in time to the hospital. My parents tried to help, well thats what my mom wants me to think even though she was working she couldnt make it which always happens but my dad was told that all he could do was wait and hope she make it through the surgery,but because she made it late, she didn't. I was shocked because if you know her, you would think that she could go through that type of stuff. But I guess because she never experienced these types of things, she just couldnt. I just wish she was here. I mean I miss her, its been six years since her death. My parents couldn't bear staying in the same place she passed away so we moved to New Jersey. To everybody else,I seem like that guy that looks mad all the time. But I just don't wanna to talk to others because I know that all they will do is tell me things like "she is now resting" or like "she is happy for you to live". I just don't wanna hear it,cause that all Ill think about. Margot.

"ARE YOU DONNE PACKING, LEO?!?!"

"YES, MOM, I'M DONE, YOU?!"

"YEAH,NOW COME ON OUT, PUT THEM IN THE STORAGE TRUCK AND GET IN THE CAR!"

I ran down that stairs taking a few glances at our house. I'll miss it. a lot. I mean I grew up here. yeah dude, you'll miss it a lot,just get over it.
I ran down the driveway while waiting for the guys to put all my stuff in the storage truck. I just got in the car. After like ,15 minutes, they finished and we all hit the road, and I just put my ear buds in tuned out. I wanna just think in my mind as I listen to music like a video music.

I woke up to my mom yelling at me to wake up. I looked out the window and I saw a red two story house. I got out the car and walked in,and it looked average which was pretty OK with me. I'm pretty sure that my parents wouldn't get us a expensive thing because we don't care that ish and don't care about that type of stuff. I looked at the living room in the left, with the porch to its left and the stairs separating it from the dining room. To the right of the dining room was the entrance of the kitchen. I ran up the small stairs and look down the hall. Two rooms were on the left and a room and the bathroom were on the right.

"MOM,WHERE WILL MY ROOM BE?!"I yelled hoping that she heard me."you don't have to yell ,I'm right here."she said right behind me. she kinda startled me for a second when she put her hand on my shoulder. I went in there and just stared at it the empty room.*SIGH* I guess this is the room i spend my dreaded self in.

After spending the day getting my new room ready, because I didn't really have anything to unpack, so I just got ready for bed. I just stayed there and stared at the ceiling thinking, how will I talk to people without them automatically them finding out my dead sister,if all I want to do is forget her then I wont be able to talk them. I just don't .........ugh i don't know, i guess we will have to wait and see.

Right when I was brushing my teeth, I kept thinking about how the kids are here.I heard that kids in new jersey are like the kids in place like beverly hills. Most my friends have told me that they're crazy party addicts. If they are like that, then I wouldn't wanna hang out with those kinda people, I mean they arn't the kind of people i need right now.  I just don't want that type of shit in my life.

"hey", I turned around to see my mom just leaning against the wall. "Hey, mom" I muttered after just walking out of the bathroom to head up the stairs to my room. I know my mom wanted to talk but I don't. "Leo" she said just standing there at the end of the stair case, feeling ignored as i just did. i stopped in my tracks, just to look at the ground. "Yes mom" I said without turning my head down the stairs to look at her. "why are you trying to forget her?"she muttered. i can hear the concern in her voice, and I'm not gonna lie, it hurt me a lot. "I'm not" I said just hoping she would drop it. "why wont you talk to me?"she said with hurt and that got me mad. "and why should I trust you?"                                                                                                                                                              "what do you mean?" she asked with confusion as if she didn't know what I was talking about.       "mom you know what I'm talking about"i was just getting more and that she was pretending to not know.                                                                                                                                                                                  "son what are yo-"                                                                                                                                                               "STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW!" I yelled, interrepting my mother. "DON¿T YOU THINK MARGOT WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE IT IF YOU WERE THERE!?" I yelled causing my dad to hear and having him come up and ask what the hell is going on. "I had to work, i couldn't make it" she said after tearing up. My dad just went to hug her and looking at me. "leo this has t stop its not her fault, she just couldn't make it because of work just get it over with" He said with the look of exhaustion after all this fuss. "DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT, ITS LIKE SHE CARES ABOUT HER HER JOB MORE THAN HER DYING DAUGHTER!" I felt fed up, I felt as if my own parents felt as if I was crazy."FIRST ITS NOT ANYONE'S FAULT MARGOT IS DEAD!!" I felt a sudden shock when he said that, just hearing those words come out his mouth like that....."leo, forgive me but please just don't blame your mother" he looked at me, as if he wanted to slap me for saying those kind of words to my mother. I just stayed quiet, starring at the ground trying my best not to cry. "just go to room, you have to go to school tomorrow and enroll. " he said as if nothing really happened. I just turned around, walked to my room without even looking at them. As I got in bed, i can hear my mom's muffled sobbs in my fathers chest.

another typical foster family night....