I have to break up with him, I thought as I kicked a stray pen down the filthy corridors after school.
It's just there wasn't anything... special, between us anymore. It's hard to explain, but all I knew was that it's not working out, and I couldn't string him along anymore.
As I was walking down the hallway to his English class, where we'd previously said to meet up, I thought about how he'd take it. Will he be mad? Upset? Will he ever forgive me?
But he's not like that, I corrected myself. He could never stay mad at anybody.
I remember last year, when we were only friends, a random guy just slammed him into the lockers with no warning, and accused him of flirting with his girlfriend. With a fistful of his shirt, he screamed into his face, swearing and cussing and causing a massive scene. I was completely freaked, worried that the dude would punch him in the face and knock him out, even kill him. But he just stood there, calm and collected, waiting for the other guy to finish his rant. And when he did he just said: 'Look man, I don't know whether you're confusing me with someone else, or you really believe that I would flirt with your girl, but I haven't, and I wouldn't. You could ask anybody.'
The guy then roughly let go of his shirt and looked at me, as if to ask if he was telling the truth. I nodded my head, erratically, still worried that he would freak out again but wanting to get the point across.
He just gave one last glare, spun around and stormed off, through the path that was made by the crowding onlookers.
And, luckily, that was the last of that.
But the main thing was that he never held a grudge. Never looked at him with aggression or to hint the previous events. And I knew that he wasn't a hateful person, and nor am I, but if some chick were to slam me into the lockers and accuse me of things I didn't do, I would definitely hold a grudge. No doubt.
"... Yeah thanks, Miss." Murmuring. "Okay, will do." More murmuring. " Yeah bye, have a nice afternoon too." The door opened, revealing him still waving goodbye to his teacher.
He greated me with a grin a peck on the cheek. It made me feel even worse, all his sweetness and kindness. If he truly does love me, or even like me, he'll feel some sort of pain to what I'm about to say, and a person so good doesn't deserve a feeling so bad.
But if I were to continue this relationship, it would only lead to more heartbreak in the end. And besides, he deserves someone better, who can love him fully, and never take him for granted. Guys like him are so rare, he deserves only the best.
"...Don't you think?" He looked at me expectantly.
"What? Sorry, I zoned out." I said sheepishly. Another reason he needs a better girlfriend, I can't even listen to him.
He chuckled. "You zone out so much. It's one of the things I find most fascinating about you. How you can just go to another world... sometimes I wish I could come with you."
I looked at him. He's so happy, and he didn't even realise what I was about to say.
"Okay, umm, I need to talk to you about something," I said with a pained expression.
"Sure! But first I want to tell you something. There's this place that just opened in the city and I want to take you there tomorrow night–"
"Yeah that's sweet, but–"
"Wait! Just hear me out. I know I haven't taken you out for a date in ages so I wanted to make it up to you–"
"Okay, but I need to talk to you–"
"And I looked them up on the Internet and they make your favourite pasta dish–"
"STOP CUTTING ME OFF!" I shouted.
His smile faltered.
"Okay, look," I started, "I'm sorry for yelling at you, but I need to talk to you about something important, and you're not going to like it."
"What, are you breaking up with me?" He joked. I could only reply with a grim expression. Confusion dawned on his face. "Your breaking up with me?"
"I'm so sorry, but I just don't feel... I don't feel like we should be together anymore."
He looked at me, shocked. Then he walked slowly over to the wall, and slid down on his back, defeated.
"I don't get it. I thought we were working out, really well," he said despairingly.
I walked over to the wall and sat down next to him.
"I know, I don't get it either. But I feel like we should just be friends." He looked at me, with an are-you-serious face. "I don't mean to say that all... clichè-y, but I'm serious. I still want you in my life, as more than just an acquaintance. Can we still, please, be friends?"
He nodded slowly, looking down at his lap, to his twiddling thumbs. I moved my head to try and get a better view of his facial expression, because his head was lowered.
"Hey," I said, placing my hand on his arm. "It's not as bad as you seem to think it is. You don't like me that much. You just think you do."
He shook his head. "No, I do. I liked you for a while before we even got together."
I sighed. I don't see what he sees in me. He just needs time to get over this.
After a while, I looked at him, and got confused when I saw a small smile form on his face.
"What?" I asked.
He laughed. "I guess no dinner tomorrow night then. Shame, like I said, they make your favourite pasta," he said raising an eyebrow, mocking me. Trust him to always see the funny side of things, no matter how off topic they are.
I pouted in return. "We could still go. But as friends of course."
"Mmmm," he hummed, stroking his imaginary beard, pondering.
"I'll pay?"
He continued to ponder.
"And dessert...?"
"Okay!" He answered immediately. "I would've gone with you anyway, but since your offering..." He smirked.
I shook my head, smiling at his cheekiness. It's good he's back to normal, or at least acting that way. He's such a good friend, and that's all I can see him as. And no doubt, one day, some equally amazing girl is going to come into his life, and they'll fall hopelessly in love with each other. I was probably just a confusion to his heart, being a close friend but also a girl.
"Come on," I said getting up. "We should probably get out of here, before we get locked in."
"Yeah. Good idea," he replied.
And that was that. Broken up, but friends.
