Crestfallen

Someone

Chapter Three

Someone

 

 

 

            I stretch my body and yawn. My eyes must have been swollen because I cried last night and I found it hard to sleep. I’ve been a total coward last night. I won’t cry again. My mother doesn’t deserve my tears. Well, no one does.

            If I cry again because of her, it will then show how useless it is crying just because she’s dying. I’m not heartless. It’s just my heart’s now encased in a rock or metal because of her.

            Her being sick just motivates me to be brave and I will prove to her that I don’t pity her, even if she’s my mother. But right now, for me, she is . . . no one.

            I get up from bed and take a bath. I don’t even dare to sing inside the bathroom or waste my precious time beautifying myself. The only thing I’m thinking about right now is: I’m getting out of this house, and . . . fast.

            I wear a light blue dress. I like the color blue. It’s calm and it keeps my mind in peace.

            Mother and father are asleep in the bed at the living room. Father prefers to put their bed there. Just in case someone visits mother, it won’t be difficult for the visitors to fit themselves in my parents’ room. It’s as if Churls mind small spaces, they don’t because they themselves only has a matchbox of a house.

            I close the door behind me without saying goodbye.

            If mother ever felt that she had lost her daughter, it would be fair enough for me because eight years ago, I already had that cold and awkward feeling that somehow, I lost my mother. Or I was just going to lose her. But that thought of fear about losing her doesn’t really bother me after I told myself when I was ten that: whatever will be her fate, then her fate it will be.

            It’s just around nine in the morning. I don’t have to take a long walk to Zapp’s house because he’s also a Churl. For me, it’s too early and I can barely see any Churls from my school heading towards his place. I might as well go to the Derelict.

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            I take my time walking. The sun’s not scorching hot yet. Well, it’s not. In fact, the air is still cold because it’s just mid-January. My Geography teacher told us that in other countries, it snows a lot but here, it doesn’t because this country’s located near the equator and the climate’s tropical. The only seasons here are: summer and rainy season. It means that the country where our ancestors lived, before they dominated this country, snows when it’s winter.

            I can see the Derelict materializing. The outside of it looks so old, there’s hardly any paint; it’s all peeled away. It has some gray white color at the outside, and mostly in some parts, it has some pale green color because it’s covered in algae.

            When I’m in front of the Derelict’s door, my mood brightens. Everyone expects this to be a stinky, dirty and a rotten old place but I find this aged stock house very relaxing. It’s as if it keeps the world out while my mind is at peace here. It makes me forget my burdens and my mother.

            I open the door and I try to turn on the light bulb’s switch every time I enter here although it doesn’t bring any light anymore. It’s some kind of my tradition in the Derelict, you know: turning the old bulb on even if it doesn’t function at all.