Crooked Smile

{1} Cold Skin {1}

I hated this time of day. I want to go home, but my home isn't considered a home anymore to me. It's considered an insane asylum, filled with mentally abusive creatures. The closest thing I've had to a home is the park. Now the park is filled with physically abusive humans. I don't know if I actually want to go home. I think I just want away from this. All of this. My skin is as cold as ice, my hands like icicles hanging from a chunk of snow. I had to hide, I couldn't be seen by them because I know what would happen if they did. Violence. I was sitting behind a large tree, reading a book and only being covered by a thin jacket. Winter time was the worst but all I know is that I'd rather freeze to death than be by my mother. But maybe the cute boy will come by again. Last time I couldn't get myself to talk to him but I swore I would this time! But my main worry was to stay out of the eyes of the other humans in the park. I've never needed anyone, never will. I refuse to be dependent on anyone, or anything. I just need to keep to myself, no one will notice me if I keep quiet. So of course I'll just stay here, keep quiet, and read my book. It'll be over soon I know. My main worry right now is not freezing. But I promise I'll be ok, no one can be in a perfect moment. I've never wanted to have a perfect moment. Every time that anythings remotely perfect in a way I feel.. Odd. Like something's happening somewhere else. Someone's happy with another person and someone's crying at home because they'll never be good enough for that someone. Someone's being born and someone's giving birth. Someone's getting a puppy, and a puppy is getting taken away from its brothers and sisters. There's always a fucked up side to everything good. I'd hate to say I'm in the fucked up side right now but I probably am. Some people are having fun with their friends, and someone's worried that those people are going to hurt them. Yeah.. I'm probably in the fucked up part of this situation. But everyone thinks that they have it worse. No matter what's someone gone through, someone's been through worse. I'd like to think I'm part of the lucky group. At least I'm following my dreams and staying away from my nightmares. I've been a lot happier recently. I hope to stay this way.