With My Eyes Closed

One

"Can I go with Donna?"

With a shocked expression I looked at Jen, who received an approving nod from the gym teacher. Why did she, out of all people want to do the scariest assignment with me?

My classmates stood around me, letting themselves drop backwards like a wooden plank, with their eyes closed. Their screams echoed through the gym. Everyone could trust their partners. Except for me.

Jen looked at me, daring, "You can go first."

For the 100th time that class, I imagined myself falling head-first on the gym floor. I could already feel the hard bang on the back of my head.

Saying 'no' wasn't an option, even if I had the guts to. Not participating would make me a coward. This gym class would haunt me for the rest of the year, like a couple of annoying flies. Another year without any friends.

"Go then?" Jen said.

I let myself drop. But while falling I stopped the time, like you do with movies when you need to fill up your drink or grab a pack of chips. I stared Jen dead in the eye and said, "If you don't catch me, I will kill you."

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Between the leaves of the tree I can spot them arriving. Three small dots, that slowly grow bigger. Three? The second one has to be Katie, who else is walking with them?

Just like every morning, the loud, shrill voice of Jasmine startles me. If she knew that I could hear what she and Katie gossiped about every schooldays while they were on their way... well I wouldn't be safe here folks.

I shove forward a little, until the branch starts bending.
For fucks sake, who is that third one?
And then I notice the way he walks. Justin!

Out of shock I lose my balance and I fall forward. Just in time I grip hold. While I glide back to my trusting position on the branch, I stay staring at them. My best friend from the past and my worst enemy from the past and forever more.

"Are you free this afternoon?" I hear Justin ask. They are close, if he was to look up right now he would see me sitting here. Would he betray me?

But Justin is too busy gawking at Jasmine with his shiny, brown eyes to look up. And it makes me wonder what is up with him. He never wanted anything to do with her. And now...

Jasmine stops walking, "Shall we do something exciting?"

"We'll figure that out later," he replies. Since when does he grin so odd?

Its like I'm watching a movie and I've missed a part of it. I already know the start of the movie though: how Justin and I as toddlers became the best of friends and managed to stay that for the rest of primary school. How we used to build cabins together and bake pancakes in the restaurant of my parents...

"Does Donna mind if we hang out?"

I'm taken back when I hear my name. Don't do it! is what I want to shout down at Justin. But I don't say anything. Of course I don't, I never say or do anything back. Not in gym, not in the breaks at school, neither when we go on our terrible school trips. However if I was to ever hit back, everything would surely be different. But the only Donna that would ever stand up for herself only exists in my imagination.

Like now, that Donna would -for example- drop out a fat, juicy spit on Jasmines black hair.
But even now, high up in my own tree, where no one can see me, I'm still scared of her.

Jasmine starts walking again, Katie and Justin trailing close behind her. I didn't even hear Justin's answer. His backpack hangs low on his flat butt.

I stare at them for a long time. There goes the only real friend I've ever had. He always stood up for me whenever they bullied me. And now he walking with them to school.

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vote, comment please? xo thank you anyways.

(donna, the main character, is played by normani :)) <- double chin.