Broken (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter 2- What's Next

The next few weeks were definitely hard to adjust to. I would walk around my house and see things that reminded me of my father, and it was an emotional sucker punch to the face when I would see a picture or something of his. It got better, slightly. The only reason it was better was because I had Zayn. He was only about two years older than I was, but he helped me through this tough time. The only time I smiled was when he was around, so my mom made an effort to take me to see him at least once a day. Eventually I started going to school, but insisted that I go to the same school as Zayn. I worked hard to catch up in my studies, and even skipped two grades after 7 months. I was smarter than most kids anyways. I was ready to believe that life wasn't unfair. I was ready to believe that the incident with my father was the last of it's kind and that I was finally going to be able to go somewhere, instead of just staying at home and cursing fate. I was ready to believe in myself.

It was getting to the point where I would only think of him maybe once or twice a day. I would feel the sting in my chest, but it would go away when I thought of Zayn. Speaking of Zayn I haven't seen him all day. I asked my mom to drop me off at his house and she happily obliged.

We pulled up to the brick house that I had come to love. It was my sanctuary. Well to be honest, Zayn was my sanctuary, but he lived here so it was a close second. I kissed my mom on the cheek and said good bye. Me and my mom haven't said the words 'I love you,' to each other since my dad's funeral, eleven and a half  months ago. I didn't have a problem with it since my mom seemed to be revolted with the saying ever since that day. My mom really did love my father, and once he was gone she began to grow distant. I didn't mind as long as she let me see Zayn. Honestly he is the reason that I am okay with it all. Other parents think I'm just suppressing my grief, but I know better. I know that the only reason I am able to be so strong is because Zayn let's me be weak.

I walked into Zayn's house and called out, "Hello. It's Ari. Zayn are you here?"

I heard some shuffling in the upstairs, and perked my head to the direction of the noise. A smile of happiness, relief, and comfort fell over my features. I always felt safe with him and just plain ol' happy.

"Hey, Ari." Zayn said. He walked over to me and asked me the same question he has asked me every day since the accident when he saw me. "Are you strong?" I nodded my head but still hugged him. I was only 8 years old but I know that I was in love. Ever since that day.

"Ari, what would you like to do today?" He asked already knowing my answer.

"I want to listen to you sing Zayn." I said with a lot of enthusiasm. He walked over to the corner in his living room where he kept his guitar. I watched him as he held the guitar that was a little to big for his 10 year old body. I kept my eyes on his hands as they tuned his guitar.

"What song do you want to hear Ari?" He asked with his soothing voice.

"Ummm... Do you know 'Fix You' by Coldplay?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Of course, Ari." He said and began to play the acoustic for 'Fix You'.

He began to sing,

When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face

When you lose something you cannot replace

Tears stream down your face

And I...

Tears stream down your face

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Tears stream down your face

And I...

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try to fix you

He strummed the last few chords and I suddenly felt weak. Sensing my sadness, Zayn rushed to my side and held me into his chest. I cried again for what seemed like hours. It was only actually 20 minutes. When my tears began to run dry, I looked up at Zayn.

"When is your birthday?" I croaked. It seemed like a weird question, but I really wanted to know. I couldn't believe I didn't already ask him this, after all we had been through together. After the words left my mouth he had an uneasy look on his face and began to shift uncomfortably beneath my weight. Then he looked away from me. He actually looked away from me. It was weird. I had never have him do that to me. I asked him again a little louder this time.

He said something inaudible. So I repeated my question one more time.

"January 12th..." He muttered.

I gasped, and it felt like the wind was knocked out of me. It was his birthday. His birthday, the day that the person I loved the most in this world, was born the same day the person I cared for the most before him died. What was even more shocking was the fact that not only was Zayn's birthday in one week, but my father had actually been gone from this world for almost an entire year. What was I going to do? I suddenly felt weak again, although this time I had no more tears left so I just fell asleep against Zayn's chest. The last thought that passed through my head was the same thought I was left with every night before sleep... What's next?