03/22/16: today im going to rewrite something i had wrote when i was in 7th grade, i was getting bullied n started having alot of problems with many ppl, everyone hated me nobody really liked me i was half the time either alone or left out so here is the story or diary (or w.e u wanna call it) i had wrote:
Alone
Im scared to tell anyone wht i go through. Im scared of telling them how i spend hours crying bcuz i feel so alone, how i feel so lost n empty on the inside, how i no longer have any motivation or see a future for myself, how their hurtful words eat me up inside, how i hate myself for not having the courgae to stand up for myself, how i can no longer feel emotions. I feel dead, i feel numb n bitter n dark on the inside, i dont want your sympathy. I want ur help. Im scared u will judge me n ignore me n think im mad n you'll leave me too. Im afraid to tell u bcuz its got to me soo much. Im in this whirlpool of self-hate n depressiom which had sucked me in n it prevents me from reaching out. Its stopping me from opening my mouth n telling anyone. So, please, help me bcuz i dont want to carry on like this anymore.
Honestly i have been writing these type of diaries about "pain" ever since i started 7th grade n i have a small notebeook where i write them i might rewrite some of them over the week on my journals so yeah hope u like them
P.s if u think any of this is funny its not! theres many self harming theres alot of depression, anxiety, self-hate, n much more its not funny at all its sad! Its sad seeing ppl not getting the help they need it really is if u think its not then damn u must be cold hearted cuz nun of this is funny it serious n if ur against bullying or self harm or any of this stuff then im glad u are bcuz this world now in days is just insane! its crazy! i hate it n to u ppl who actaully get this bcuz you've experienced it just like i did n ur still here then guess wht? im happy for u bcuz u actually made it this far! im proud tht u actually got thru everyone n everything i really am so keep it up n keep ur head up! Never forget tht the only reason y ppl drag u down is bcuz ur above them: You
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them
YOU ARE READING
Journal #1
Random03/08/16:Today was all good at school until the fact that i had to see u late at night n realize that the only thing u cared about was my attention because now look u dont even talk no more which is pretty funny to me because all those times u start...
