Thoughts

Chapter one. Wishes

Dawn. That's what everyone calls me. To my friends I'm a normal everyday girl; well as normal as a girl who only hangs out with guys can be. Don't go thinking the wrong thing here, these guys are my friends. I don't like them. Ok I like one of them but honestly I'm not perfect. Anyway back to being an everyday girl. I'm sixteen, and blonde, and smart. My eyes change colors with my mood which I guess is kind of weird, not as weird as what I'm about to tell you though. I'm kind of an empathic. Kind of Ok don't start thinking I'm a freak show or anything. Not many people know about my empathy though, I once tried to come out about it in seventh grade to a couple of my friends but you know most people laugh in your face when you tell them you can feel their emotions, and sometimes even read their thoughts. I discovered my empathy when I was twelve. It confused me at first, I mean something like that is hard to take in. I've finally decided that someone needs to know though, what it's like. At the moment I'm dealing with a headache, that isn't even mine. My step mom sits in front of me rubbing vigorously at her temples, "Take a Tylenol." I tell her, trying to hide my begging tone. "I already have." she moans and I sigh. "Have you ate to day, gotten enough sleep, do you need some water, caffeine withdrawal?" She laughs lightly and brushes her died red hair from her forehead, " I think you're the one giving me a headache. Can you just stop talking?" She asks and covers her head with a pillow. "No problem." I sigh and exit the living room. Empathy is hard, normal people think that feeling someone else's headache's is impossible, unbelievable. I on the other hand find it an everyday thing. I turn on some Greenday and stare at my turquoise walls. Why am I the empathic, why can't some other weirdo somewhere in the world be the empathic. I'm not exactly sure what made me this way. I wasn't thrown into a vade of chemical waist or suffocated with radioactive gasses. It just popped up one day. I was sitting at my regular seat on the school bus watching cornfields and houses pass my window when something uncommon happened I tore out by ear buds. It's not a rare to find me rocking out to my mp3 player, it is rare, though to find me hastily tearing the music out of my ears. I felt incredibly sick to my stomach and my head  throbbed in an unfamiliar place. Why, oh why did I have to catch a bug on the Monday before finals? Why? I thought to myself. I looked around the bus to find Tyler a fifth grader riding my bus looking a little green. I furrowed my eyebrows, I'd been noticing how people around me seemed to be feeling the same way I did. Last Friday I had a very uncommon urge to just randomly cry my heart out. A depressed feeling washed over me and I looked around the classroom in search of something to cheer me up. My eyes instantly locked on Emily crying her heart out. I figured out later on that her house had burned down, along with her dog. I stared at Tyler again, "Dude are you ok?" I ask casually. He shakes his head and winces, "I feel so sick right know, I have a major headache right here." He points to right above his eye the exact same spot that I was experiencing a rather brutal headache.

"That suck's I turned back to the bus window and sighed. Something was going on.     

I've learned to deal with my empathy. Sometimes I can ignore the buzzing pains I get from other people. Other times like now I can't block it out. It's even getting easier to tell which emotions are mine and which aren't. I only wish I could block out everything. So that for once I would know all my thoughts, emotions, and pains were mine and not someone else's. Wishes are all I have right now. Only a wish for it to go away.